Devil's Partner In Crime
by Dragonette's Madness
Summary: I'm stuck with an idiot named Oga Tatsumi, taking care of the future demon king, Kat-..uh, Kai-... whatever! The situation turned worse when that idiot Tatsumi declared me as the mother! "We're always in trouble and called partners in crime, so you're gonna be my partner in this" Tatsumi said while picking his nose. I'm screwed. (rated for language and Furuichi's existence)
1. Baby, Goth, Demons waIT WHAT!

A baby.

A green haired baby.

A green haired, buck naked baby.

A green haired, buck naked baby that just came out of an old man who _split his goddamn body in half._

What the hell?

Right i have forgotten to introduce myself. My name is Shiranui Yuu and i know it sounds like a guy's name but no, i am positively female (Though I doubt you can see that). I am currently with a close friend of mine Oga Tatsumi, at a riverbank after watching him beat up some thugs that tried to ambush (more like kill) him when he's sleeping.

Pah, stuuupid wannabie thugs. As if you can get rid of him easily.

Going back to where i left off, Tatsumi is currently making scary faces at the baby (and threatening him mind you), which should have scared any other baby off.

But that little brat just smiled. _He smiled. _Even his eyes are sparkly!

"Oi Tatsumi," said person turned to look at me, with the green haired entity hanging off his chest "looks like that brat likes you," i teased him which earned me a glare. After making many different scary faces (which i can compare to satan himself), he ended up with the baby stuck to him like glue.

"He won't get off," Tatsumi grumbled. I laughed and he smacked my head.

We ended up at Furuichi's house, and Tatsumi started explaining the situation to him like an idiot he is and me sitting at his bed (let's hope Furuichi does not notice that) trying hard not to laugh at Furuichi's expression. God help him.

"Wait wait wait wait," Furuichi halted him.

"Huh?" Tatsumi paused

"Don't 'huh' me, who's kind hearted and popular? The first thing you said 'Everybody kneel before me' you're a tyrant aren't you?!" Furuichi complained and he turned to me "Yuu! Don't just sit there quietly! Tell me what happened!" he complained

"I think i'm going to sit this one out." i said as i munched on a cheesecake. This guy knows where to buy cake. It's good! "Besides, your expression is entertaining Eroichi," i said, grinning.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT YUU!" Jeez this ero guy got some voicebox.

"Idiot" Tatsumi pointed at Furuichi "You're an idiot Eroichi–,"

"You too Oga?" Furuichi sweatdropped.

"–Yo mama so fat!" Tatsumi continued

"Don't yo mama me,"

"Are you sure? Really think about it–" Tatsumi said as he munched on the last of the cake "–Do you think I'm the kind of guy, who without a reason would force people to bow before me?"

"Yeah"

"Totally"

Furuichi and I said simultaneously. Tatsumi got up from his seat and grabbed both of us and put us in a headlock.

Well tried to put me in the deathlock (i call it that cause it really hurts, no shit) i escaped and in the end Furuichi got all the pain of the deathlock while I sighed in relief. Whew, safe.

"OH REALLY? WANNA HEAR THE REST THEN?!"

"OW OW OW OW I GIVE I GIVE!"

I laughed as Tatsumi released Furuichi from his deathlock and the latter rubbed his neck "Why didn't Yuu get the headlock," he pointed at me "No fair!"

"That's because i escaped from his grip before he got the chance to do it, unlike you, Stupid Eroichi" I said while sipping some tea. "You can continue Tatsumi"

While Tatsumi tells Eroichi what happened in his point of view which is plain ridiculous, let me tell you my version (not like his of course, no narcassism, I swear)

I watched as the stupid guy apologised to Tatsumi, saying that he couldn't help himself seeing 'Ishi-High's legendary no-loss Oga-kun was sleeping defenselessly and his woman unprotected'

That earned him a kick at his head from me. His gang just winced.

I am NOT Tatsumi's woman dammit!

"A-anyway, we thought this is a chance, right..."

"No, not a chance" Tatsumi pointed to the place he was sleeping at, his bag was impaled with a huge metal, the ones you see at a construction site "If that hadn't been me, I could've died" He continued with a smile at his face.

"No, really," the stupid guy laughed nervously "Though it would have been great if you had died..."

I had to hold back my laughter when I saw Tatsumi's face froze in a smile. That stupid guy is totally gonna get it.

That guy ended up with his face underwater and Tatsumi holding his feet, and as if he was doing laundry, he dipped the guy in and out, saying "I wonder if it'll come out, this damn spot" I burst out laughing. When I saw his gang's faces, I laughed harder. Their faces totally read:

Devil.

Cruel.

It doesn't help that Tatsumi is smiling like a demon he is while doing it. Then they turned their heads to me as I was laughing like a madman.

What I didn't hear was that they said "No wonder she is Oga's woman," "She is just as devilish as him"

Then Tatsumi suddenly stopped. I went next to him and looked at the place that his eyes were looking at. Then I saw it.

A large old man came floating down the river. With an arrow at his heart.

**####**

"ALRIGHT, STOOOOOOOP!"

Eroichi shouted, stopping Tatsumi from continuing his story. "Um...What? This story...Where do you want to take it?" he said disbelievingly "Rather, the hell?! 'A large old man'?

"He came floating down the stream, there's no helping it" Tatsumi said nonchalantly while sipping his tea.

"THAT DOESN'T FLOAT DOWN THE STREAM!"

"Jeez Eroichi don't get your boxers in a twist, i saw it with my own two eyes too you know," I chirped, hanging upside down from his bed.

"Hold on, I'm groping for the limit of reality" poor Eroichi, having friends like us.

"Or are you just imagining groping some girl's boobs" i said deadpanned.

"I'M NOT!" Furuichi looks really toast right now. He doesn't take stories like this easily huh... "Alright let's go!"

I bet you he's thinking that something logic happened to the old man.

And I bet you he's not gonna accept that the old man literally split in two.

When Tatsumi got to the part where the old man split in two..

"NO SPLITTIIIINNGGGG!"

Tatsumi and I just stared at him. Furuichi took a deep breath and–

"NO SPLITTING!" Eroichi is totally not buying the splitting part. See? Told you.

"Then the Young man said, 'My, what a cute baby," Tatsumi continued, ignoring Furuichi's protests.

"Just stop it! Impossible, impossible!" He cried "Nobody would l isten to this story!" he stood up and went to his closet, took out a button up shirt and went in front of the mirror to ready himself "Jeez, its my fault for listening to you seriously since you both came in for a consult."

"Come on, there's still more!" Tatsumi waved at Furuichi, wanting him to listen to the rest of the story.

"Like I care! I have a date coming up now! Drink your tea and quickly get out!" Furuichi said, clearly irritated at Tatsumi. "And that includes you too Yuu," he said while messing with his hair "Being his partner in crime again in tricking me. Here I thought both of you finally come here to consult on your love life," he sighed.

"What love life?" Tatsumi and I said together. "Don't say that, from here is the important part" Tatsumi continued.

"I don't have to play along with your bullshit gossip! If you have to continue, then try bringing the baby here then talking, idiot!"

"It's fine if I bring it in?" Tatsumi asked

"If you can!" Furuichi retorted. I just watched them bickering (mostly Furuichi though) while calmly sipping tea. Tatsumi went to the door of Furuichi's room, picked something up and put it down on the floor.

There, in all his glory, was the green haired naked baby.

"Adda"

"We should've bought him in earlier Tatsumi," I said lying on my tummy on Furuichi's bed. My eyes are beginning to droop. I hope he doesn't sniff the sheets at night...

"Yeah it could've helped if you said so earlier" he said to Furuichi, who, is currently standing frozen from shock. "See, there really is a baby," he continued not noticing his male friend's frozen state.

"Daa" the green haired entity seem to agree. He knows we're talking about him. Clever baby. I didn't hear whatever those two idiots were talking about because I slept comfortably on Furuichi's bed. Now I really hope he doesn't jerk off to these sheets tonight...

**####**

I woke up to a girl's scream and a baby's (sounds like a 'Daaaaa'). I dismissed them, thinking that Furuichi switched on the tv. When finally got up, I saw a woman dressed in gothic clothes and big chest (how the hell did she get them that big?!) sitting in front of Tatsumi and Furuichi traditionally. Those idiots faces were blank.

"What's going on guys?" I said, stretching my body. That was a good nap. All three of them turned to me.

"Oh? Another one?" The gothic chick said.

"Yuu.." Furuichi said, his eyes watering " SAVE ME FROM THIS MADNESS!" he leaped at me. My face was blank as I dodged away from him. "Stupid Eroichi, you know that never works on me" Then I looked at the remaining two. "Care to fill me in?"

**####**

"So that kid is the future demon king"

"Yes" said gothic chick.

"And you're the wet nurse, Hildagerade"

"Yes"

"What's his name again?"

"Kaiser De Emperana Beelzebub The 4th"

"That's a long ass name you got there bud" i said, turning to the future demon king, "How am i going to remember that?"

"EHHHHHHHH?! YUU?! YOU TOOK THAT TOO EASILY!" Eh Eroichi woke up.

I ignored him.

"Um, Hilda-san, was it?" Eroichi said, holding out a hand to stop the gothic wo–i mean Hilda. "Im being honest, we'll ignore the rest, even if we bring the kid home we'll just end the topic here.. yeah?"

"No, that's impossible"

"Hah? Why?" I asked, still bummed at the fact that we have a future demon king in the same room as me.

"If you'd like to know why–" she pointed a finger at Tatsumi "–then you have been chosen"

By this time I was confused. Tatsumi was still holding the baby, Kai–uh–Kat–whatever–his–name–is, his face as confused as mine.

**"As the Demon King's parent."**

**####**

ssup guys, dragonette here.  
this is my first fic, feel free to point out any mistakes.

im out.


	2. Destroying, Lightning, Parent

**/_somewhere in hell, before all this shit happened/_**

Hilda was walking down the hallway, carrying a tray of iced lemonade. {Yuu:They've got ice in hell?} There were voices in the room as she opened the door, walking calmly admist the heated discussion.

"Excuse me," she pardoned herself, walking across the room to deliver the iced lemonade to the Great Demon Lord.

"Aah, fine, I give up" the GDL surenderred "I'll let him take care of them, my son who was born earlier,"

"Hilda," he called to the blonde, gothic woman.

"Yes?"

"You take him to the human world, ya know, and while raising him to be an acceptable human, destroy!"

_**/back to the present/**_

"And–" Hilda said, sipping her tea "–thats how it is"

The three of us were dumbfounded. The Great Demon Lord is so random... And they've got ice in hell...

"He kinda goes with the flow.."Furuichi remarked. I noticed that Furuichi grabbed Tatsumi's shoulder and look into his eyes and say "God's speed Oga," his face a blank page.

"Wai– you're going to run away now?!" Tatsumi screamed.

"Yes...or rather, you go home"

I was watching the exchange quietly, munching on a bag of chips i got from raiding Furuichi's cupboard when Hilda was storytelling (hey i remember her name now!)

"Don't joke around! What do you mean Demon King's parent!" I gotta say, Tatsumi looks irritated. He rambled about something, though the only words i register was 'Don't screw with me!' I was too busy enjoying these chips. Seriously one day I'm gonna be fa–

"In other words, you refuse" Hilda stated, shattering my thoughts.

"Freakin 'course! Quickly take him back!" Tatsumi handed the baby back to the wet nurse who seemed...happy?

"Is that so.." she put the cup down, her drink finished "...I'm so happy"

Hah. Told ya she looked happy. But something's off... The invisible antenna on top of my head twitched...

"Well then, please die" she said with a pleasent smile. Wait, what?!

Taking her umbrella, she unseathed her swor–HOW THE HELL IS THERE A SWORD INSIDE THAT UMBRELLA?!

"Shit" I quickly got up and ran out of the room, climbed down the stairs with Tatsumi and Furuichi quickly following my steps. As I got out of the house, I looked up at where Furuichi's room should be and a loud crack sounded. Furuichi's room was split horizontally.

If we were still there we would've been dead.

Stupid Tatsumi and clinging baby!

"Heyy wait damnit Oga! You're definitely gonna pay that back!" Furuichi said, running while looking at the remains of his room. That woman is strong! "What the hell?! What the hell?! Why am i laughing" he cried (and laughed, with tears and snot, ew) Poor Furuichi. He must've been scared out of his wits.

"Calm down Furuichi, I'm fine!" Tatsumi said while running "Where's Yuu?" He looked behind Furuichi.

"Here," I said as I caught up with him, running beside him and the baby..

Baby?

"WHY ARE YOU CARRYING THAT?!" Furuichi and I shouted pointing to the damned baby.

"Huh? What are you–MY GOD!"

"Don't 'My God' me, quickly leave it!" Furuichi panicked. She'll be gaining on us anytime now... If she is even human, that is.

Tatsumi was busy pulling the baby off him to no avail when we stopped for a moment (Its funny how the baby just keep on gripping his shirt without tearing it off)

"Give up" Hey its Hilda! Where did her voice come from? Both boys were looking up. My eyes trailed to where the boys were looking at.

"What the.." Up at the electric pole? Seriously?! How the hell did she get up there?!

"Do you think you can run away from a demon?" She asked, glaring at us.

I don't care about that! She's wearing a dress, a short dress for god's sake isn't she embarassed?! Now I'm the one getting embarassed. Sometimes I wish that some girls aren't this... open.

"Shaddap and just stay where you are for the rest of your life!" Tatsumi said as he walked ran away.

"We can see your panties!" Furuichi...

BONK!

"OW YUU WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!"

"..." I looked to Hilda, "Next time wear pants," I said and quickly ran following Tatsumi. I swear I saw her mouth twitch..

Our running was smooth (for about 10 seconds) when I heard Hilda shout something like aggbaba? Is she summoning the spirit of her legendary sword like in Bleach or something?

Then a creature descended infront of us, blocking our path. Tatsumi being Tatsumi, just kicked the creature out of our way (its kinda cute though.. The creature..) and it fainted (well it is TATSUMI's KICK we're talking about) "What are you doing, hurry up!" But I was just about to pet it!

"When you do things like that, I can honestly respect you" Furuichi complimented.

"Shut it, first to strike wins," Tatsumi replied

"Che, brute. That thing is really cute..."

"YUU?!" Furuichi's jaw dropped

"You have a weird eye calling that thing cute Yuu" Tatsumi responded, not at all phased by my sense of cute.

**/_several minutes later/_**

We reached the riverbank where Tatsumi and I first found the baby, I had to hold on to my knees to prevent myself from falling, trying to catch my breath. I haven't run that fast since my father set those vicious meat loving dogs on me!

Uh... That's a story for another time.

"Was your plan to escape like that?" a voice asked.

Ugh! Come on man! I'm trying to teach my lungs how to fucking breath here!

When I saw Tatsumi and a sword was pointed to his cheeks, I froze. When did she get there? There wasn't even a hair on her head misplaced!

"You.." Tatsumi turned, causing his cheek to graze the sword, producing a cut "You were planning this from the beginning weren't you?"

"Demons are quite stuck up on contracts," she answered, blood beginning to flow from the cut "So i'm happy that you refused.." The blood dripped to the baby's cheek. The baby went silent.

"Young Master?" Hilda called. Maybe it's just my imagination, but are those sparks of electricity around the baby? Oh he's going to cry... I wonder what happens to Demon babies when they cry...

Then I got my answer.

_Lightning_. And here i thought Thor was the only God of Lightning.

I was blinded by it and tried to get out of the way since I was standing next to Tatsumi, but I was too late. I got struck by it, feeling the sparks crawling on my skin.

I blacked out.

**####**

I woke up and find myself on my bed, in my room. I sat up and stretched my body. Why do I feel so damn stiff? Then I remembered I got struck by lightning... Ah maybe it was all just a dream... Yeah it's a dream. I closed my eyes. Thank god it didn't happen or I would–

"Oh you woke up," Tatsumi? I opened my eyes and I saw Tatsumi. He waltzed in my room like it was his. He always dropped by my house and I his. But I haven't went to his house for almost a year now...

He sat on the floor facing my bed (and me). "You were out for 4 days." My jaw dropped. 4 days! What in Lucifer's name knocked me out?! "You were struck by lightning–" Tatsumi said as if reading my mind. "–When Baby Beel cried that day at the riverbank."

I stared at him.

And stared. Who the heck is Baby Beel?

And suddenly green hair popped out of nowhere at Tatsumi's back, the face of the baby in my dream looked at me.

And stared.

"WHAT?! So it did happened! I got struck by lightning by this brat when he cried!" And demon exists! And Thor isn't the only one who can control lightning! Wait, Thor _controls_ lightning, this brat _produce _lightning_. _

"Call him Beel," Tatsumi said, rattling a kid's toy that rattles.. If you get what i mean. He looks like he's planning something...

My tummy rumbled. Loudly.

"..."

"..."

"Let's go to my house. It's almost dinner anyway, mom must've finished cooking." Thank you Tatsumi! Lord bless you! But I can't help but smell something fishy here...

**#### **

I should've known why he didn't make a nasty remark when my tummy rumbled loudly.

I should've known that he was planning this from the start!

Tatsumi you bastard!

You see, when we arrived at Tatsumi's house his family was delighted to see my face after almost a year not coming here. And Tatsumi was right, his mother had just finished cooking and she ushered me to sit and eat. I was surprised that Hilda was at the dining table too. but who cares, I'm hungry!

Oh the joy of homemade cooking!

Of course I cleaned up before coming here, you don't expect me to come at Tatsumi's house looking like a car accident do you?

You do? Damn. Well you got it wrong!

Ehem. Going back to the story, After eating and cleaning up, Tatsumi's mother and Misaki grabbed me and sat me down on the couch, and we sat there catching up on the months we didn't meet (I can't escape their grip! Too strong!) when Tatsumi decided to say something that made the whole family and even me, freeze.

"Yuu is Beel's mom," he nonchalantly declared, sitting on the floor with Beel on his back, pointing a finger at me. The whole family looked at me. My jaw dropped.

what..?

What?

WHAT?!

**####**

**I'm gonna leave it hanging there. My eyes hurt...**

**And Kira Tsumi, thanks for reviewing~ I appreciate it~ **

**ufufufu~**

**I'm out. **


	3. Scheme, Mustache, Kanzaki Senpai

I can't believe it! That bastard was planning this from the beginning! What the hell!

"Aah, no wonder you haven't visited us for almost a year..." Misaki broke the silence. She was looking at me coyly "You were hiding from us,"

Eh? Hiding?

"He does look like you" Tatsumi's mother chimed in "Beel's got your facial structure while he has Tatsumi's eyes.."

I DON'T EVEN LOOK LIKE ONE BIT OF THAT DEMONIC, LIGHTNING PRODUCING BABY!

Tatsumi's father did a sliding bow (whoa, cool) "I'M SO SORRY YUU-CHAN! I WAS CARELESS! I NEVER THOUGHT TATSUMI WILL GO FOR YOU, HIS OWN FRIEND! GOING AS FAR AS BABY MAKING!" That hurts a bit old ma–whAT BABY MAKING?!

"AND FOR THAT TATSUMI WILL TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT!"

WE NEVER DID ANY BABY MAKING! HE NEVER EVEN SAW ME NAKED FOR FUCKS SAKE! HOW THE HELL HE WENT THAT FAR?!

"Well, it's not surprising since both of you always got in trouble together.." Misaki said, "And here I thought Hilda was the mother..."

"But for both of you to have a baby!" Tatsumi's mother said "So I'm already a grandmother huh.."

By this time, my eyes were as wide as saucers. As they were retelling the stories about how Tatsumi and I (along with Furuichi of course but he didn't do anything) , I finally have enough sense to talk. "B-but Hilda–"

"I am only but a wet nurse taking care of Young Master," Hilda cut me off, not giving me a chance to deny. That demon even wore a smirk!

"Since I cleared that all up, we're going to my room," Tatsumi walked to me and dragged me to his room, since i was too horrified to respond.

I mean, if you were declared as a mother of a baby demon and the father was your close friend who is called a demon by most students ( I admit that he is good looking–don't look at me like that!), which brings the fam bam to think that I had a 'baby making session' with him. Doesn't that make it horrifying? But I can't help being a bit happy.

A bit.

No, I don't like him that way!

Misaki snickered. "Don't be too loud!" She hollered at us as we walked to Tatsumi's bedroom.

"WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING DAMMIT!" I shouted. If you could see my face right now, you would be laughing like a pig.

"Explain," I demanded as Tatsumi closed the door to his room.

"Patience Yuu. Patience is a virtue" he said, sitting down on the floor while i sat on his bed, cross legged. "It's better for me if they think you're the mother rather than Hilda,"

"They thought Hilda was the mother? And you're the father?" I asked, my chest constricting. What?

"Yeah. Dad accused me baby making with Hilda and even made me do the sliding bow to Hilda," I felt a pang in my chest and hit my chest right at the heart. Maybe I ate too much...

"But whyyyy did you drag me into this!" I pointed at myself.

"Well, we're always in trouble and called partners in crime, so you're gonna be my partner in this" he said while picking his nose, his eyes boring into mine. "And no running away from this."

"THAT'S NOT ENOUGH REASON FOR YOU TO MAKE ME THE MOTHER YOU STUPID IDIOT!"

"I still do not approve you as the mother, Shiranui," a new voice interrupted. Standing at the door was Hilda with her gothic glory and blonde hair and bouncy boobs (I didn't look there...okay maybe a bit)

"As if I want to be the mother" I muttered quietly but she glared at me. Of course she can hear that. Stupid demonic hearing. Beel was crawling to me, standing at the side of the bed looking at me with eyes that clearly said 'I wanna sit on your lap' Picking him up and settling him down on my lap, he started making cute noises. Well, I guess it's not that bad..

Beel's cute anyway.

What I didn't see was Hilda's eyes widened at Beel's want of attention from me instead of ignoring me.

"Did you go to school today Tatsumi?" I asked him while staring at Beel as the baby did the same to me.

"Yeah"

"So.." I said while bouncing Beel on my lap (he squealed happily. So cute!) "...tell me what happened"

**_/the next day at school/_**

Furuichi and I were hanging out at the school rooftop as usual, waiting for Tatsumi. I was harrasing Furuichi about something on his phone when the door to the rooftop banged open. Literally. And Tatsumi was crawling towards us with Beel riding on his back.

"I might as well not ask but... you okay?" Furuichi asked. I was beside Tatsumi poking at his cheek, Beel doing the same

"Do I look okay?!" Man I pity him... "It's the sixth time today," Wao. And he can still talk? What a monster. No wonder my dad likes him...

"At least, if you weren't you Tatsumi, you'd be dead by now," I remarked.

"But still... this sucks" he said, his head raising "At this rate the dream will come true.. Death.. I'll seriously die.." That must be a bad dream. Poor Tatsumi. "I have to do something!" He said with resolve.

"Dream?" Furuichi asked.

"Yeah.. I had a horrible nightmare.."

I listened in, about how Tatsumi had a dream and Beel was a huge monster and the world would end just because Beel threw a tantrum because he didn't get fed. I laughed. Both of them gave me weird looks.

"What? It's funny!"

"No it's not Yuu, it's horrible," Furuichi said.

"Why are you laughing about this? You're gonna die because of this!" Tatsumi took Beel, shaking him harshly. Beel laughed cutely. Awwwww...

They kept talking while I revised my studies. Today it's physics. Yes I study. Doesn't mean that I'm enrolled in a shitty school I don't study!

Well, I study mainly because the next time my dad's coming home he's going to do a pop quiz that involves bombing me alive and shooting at the floor near my feet when I get the question wrong.

Spartan, I know.

And he's coming back soon ( he doesn't tell me when, he wanted it to be a surprise. Huh surprise my ass!)

My eyes strayed to the old man beside the boys. Hey it's the old man floating down the river! I'll stayed silent, waiting for both of them to realise.

Anytime now...

Then they laughed about something (I don't think they're laughing genuinely) and the old man joined in laughing cheerfully, slapping Tatsumi on his back.

3

2

1

"WHO THE FUCK-!" Tatsumi shouted while Furuichi looked spooked.

I laughed so hard at their reaction. It's hilarious! Their faces were priceless!

"Yuu why didn't you tell us that he was there?!" Furuichi scolded me.

"Sorry ahahaha," I wiped a tear from my eyes. I was laughing that hard "It's just that you guys are so funny," I said, my laughter decreasing.

"Ah don't tell me.." Tatsumi pointed at the old man "Hey Yuu isn't this the big old man that floated down the river?"

"Yep" I confirmed, popping the 'p' , my eyes still scanning the book. Okay let's see.. Archimides principle...

"That's right" Old man said giving a thumbs up "Dimensional Transfer Demon, Alaindelon" he introduced himself.

Dimensional transfer demon? So that's how Beel got from hell to here...

"The guy that split in two?!" Furuichi said. "Huge!"

"Fu..." His mustache is awesome! Um.. I mean he said "You caught my attention so I came here to see how things are..-" Tatsumi grabbed the old man's face.

"Dimensional transfer? You bastard.. Coming out so nonchalantly" Ooooo Tatsumi is making his famous demonic face! "Or rather.. You're alive?" he asked with such venom "Because of you, I–"

"Yeah yeah it's fine, just like that" The old man responded, his voice a bit shaky (Tatsumi's scary i admit but not as scary as MY old man...) "But won't you listen to me?"

My ears perked. I stood up from my spot, walking towards the peculiar group. I grabbed Tatsumi's wrist that was holding the old man's face and looked at Tatsumi. "Let's hear him" I said, smiling. I heard the old man sighed in relief, and Tatsumi's face turned to dissapointment. I grinned devilishly "Of course, after he spill the beans you can beat him to a pulp," I said nonchalantly.

"Sounds like a plan" Tatsumi agreed, letting go of the old man who turned as white as paper.

"I-I didn't just go splitting at random" he started.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Tatsumi cut in, still irritated at the old man. I wonder, if he split, can I see his organs?

"Anyhow, the young master is the demon lord," he said, returning to normal. "First off, he will only be attracted to a strong person,"

Why did he say that! Tatsumi will be full of himself–

"Naw.. Well... Yeah" Tatsumi agreed, looking satisfied. Stupid boys and their egos. No offence.

"–-And furthermore," Awesome Mustache continued "Pure evil and cruel," Tatsumi's happy face shattered "Arrogant, thinking nothing of fellow man, that kind of shitty bastard is the best" he finished. With each word he looked as if there was an arrow in his head.

"That's you" Furuichi said deadpanned.

"BINGO! An accurate description of Tatsumi! Finally!" I cheered happily. This Mustache man is totally awesome!

"-Yes. Floating down the river, while losing conciousness–" Awesome Mustache man elaborated "I saw you force a large amount of people to kneel and laughed a high pitched laugh, I knew then–" he folded his arms at his chest "–Aaah, if it was that man, I could leave the young master to him, I thought. I ran my power dry and fell to sleep."

By the time he finished his story, Tatsumi was already on all fours on the floor, depressed and beating himself internally.

How do I know? I know him long enough, I guess. I thought about what the old man said. Generally strong guys...

AHAH!

"Hey Awesome Mustache Man!" I called him. Furuichi sweatdropped. Tatsumi is still on the floor.

"It's Alaindelon, young lady."

"Aah right, I kinda forgot your name," Furuichi fell. Tatsumi's still wallowing in self pity and abusing himself mentally. "If there was a stronger, more evil, shittier bastard than him, can that guy be chosen as Beel's parent?"

Tatsumi perked up immediately. Awe–I mean–Alaindelon and Furuichi stared at me, Tatsumi's eyes were looking at Alaindelon hopefully.

"Is it that bad? Being the young master's parent?" he asked, shocked. "Isn't it an honour?"

"Friggin 'course, idiot!" Tatsumi said straightforwordly said. Tsk tsk it's not that bad! Well, unless you got zapped by Beel of course...

"Well? How about it?" Tatsumi asked seriously. Alaindelon put a finger under his chin, wondering. "Well.. If that kind of human exists, that's how it would be..."

Tatsumi's face turned satanic. Beel's eyes sparkled. I stayed silent. As if there was anyone that was like him, that stupid idiot..

"No." Furuichi said "That kind of guy does not exist," Hah. Told ya. "Try looking at a mirror," he said breezily.

"Yup." I agreed "If there is someone like that he would've find you, you know–," I played with my dyed, platinum blue short messy hair. The colour's wearing off..."–to have a one on one battle with you to determine who's strongest." Looks like I have to go to the salon tomorrow...

"Fu fu.. Idiots, both of you. Have you forgotten?" Tatsumi said with such a cheerful tone (as cheerful as his voice can get)

"Huh?" Both Furuichi and I said simultaniously.

"This is 'the' delinquent school, Ishiyama High isn't it?"

Oh right. Kinda forgotten about that. I sighed. Looks like we have to follow him huh?

**####**

"HEY WAIT, OGA!" Furuichi shouted. I was walking beside Tatsumi, physics book still in my grip. I sighed.

"Are you listening to me? This is bad! This is the 3rd year building! He's above us isn't he? That Kanzaki guy!" he rambled.

"I told you I'm not really going there to fight or anything." Tatsumi responded. I snorted "Bullshit Tatsumi. Everywhere you go there _must _be a fight." And I need to study...

We arrived at class 3-A. When Tatsumi said he was looking for Kanzaki senpai.. Let's just say that they weren't very happy. Most of the occupants in the room made faces as if they're constipating. Seriously, how do they call that scary? Hooke's Law..

"Is that Kanzaki-kun fellow here-?" Tatsumi asked, his voice bright and chirpy. I just stood there, my book already closed. I can't deny a show can't I? Whispers of men saying 'Oga' can be heard. Wao. Tatsumi must be famous.

"Its Kanzaki-san" (que constipated face of Kanzaki senpai) Kanzaki senpai said, sitting like a boss on a chair "First year shit"

If Tatsumi's face were a sun, I'm sure as hell that it would be as bright as fuck here.

"Ha ha, he really brought a kid" a red head guy said, then looked at me "and his girlfriend.. I'm guessing she's the mother," Hm..He doesn't look bad–FOR GOD'S SAKE IM NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND!

Ugh whatever. Tatsumi doesn't even look bothered. I should make him an example.

Then beside him was a tall guy. No, a HUGE guy. I might see him as threatning if he doesn't have two BRAIDED PIGTAILS WITH FUCKING RIBBONS IN THEM! What is wrong with these yankees?! An afro guy ( wtf?!) approached Tatsumi. He rambled something about Tatsumi being an idiot (Bingo! You got that right!) and asking him if he wants to die.

Ohohoho you're a million years too early for that afro, too early.

Then I noticed that almost every boys' eyes were on me. Checking me out. The fuck? I wore the school uniform for girls, I just added leggings to it. (The skirt's too short) Have they never seen a girl before? Tatsumi noticed it too. Furuichi... He's outside the room and peeking in... Tatsumi raised Beel and the baby touched the afro guy's face. I held back a chuckle. Afro looks irritated. Beel sighed dissapointedly. "He said he has no buisness with small fries, get lost," Tatsumi translated with a smiling face. All eyes immediately went to Tatsumi. Whew, safe.

"I owe you one," I whispered to him as afro guy pulled back his fist to punch Tatsumi.

"Buy me a croquette after school and you're taking care of Beel today," he whispered back, eyes not looking at me.

My eyes widened "No wa–"

"WAIT!" That braided pigtail bastard! I'm in the middle of talking to Tatsumi you piece of shit! "I'll be his opponent" the braided pigtail bastard continued. As he stood in front of Tatsumi I glared at him and whispered to Tatsumi "We'll settle this later." Braided pigtails looked at Tatsumi. "You're Oga huh.. What's your business with Kanzaki-san?"

Silence.

I could see he was thinking in his head. He turned to me. His facial expression seeking an answer.

Oh hell no!

"Tatsumi.. I'm uh.. Going to wait outside and study.." I slowly inched back "Goodluck.. ahahaha" I laughed nervously. He glared and sent me a 'you're gonna regret this later' look.

As if i care! I gotta study!

Not really, I just want to get out of there. It's too crowded anyways.

So I went out the hallway and continued where I left off. Some senpais are staring though. I sighed loudly, tensing my body. This is going to be a long wait.

**####**

As I kicked the last senpai that started harrasing me I heard a shattering sound coming from the room. "Oi Tatsumi!" I called, walking to the classroom. I went a bit too far from the classroom. No wonder i can't hear what they were talking about. When I entered the room, no one noticed.

Mainly because they were looking at a window that shattered. And Tatsumi. There's no sign of Kanzaki senpai though... I walked towards Furuichi and nudged him. "Dude, what happened? Where's Kanzaki senpai?" He turned to me and pointed out the window. "Aah, so he'a not the one then?" he shook his head. I sighed. So much for getting rid of Beel. Speaking of Beel..

"DABUU!"

I can imagine him saying that with sparkly eyes. I guess he's alright. Now I gotta stay up tonight and pull an all nighter because those stupid senpais are stupid enough to touch me.

Nobody touches me unless they're personally close to me.

"Let's go guys.." Tatsumi said, his head hung in dissapointment.

"So... Do you still want croquette?" I said to him, poking his cheek.

"Maybe later Yuu.." he said dejectedly.

Poor bastard. Wait he's my friend...

Well my friend is a poor bastard that doesn't have lady luck on his side. Tsk tsk. Pitiful. Ooh, then i don't have to waste money on croquette! Now let's just hope he forgets about me taking care of Beel..

"But you still have to take care of Beel though," He added, breaking my happy thoughts.

"Fuck you Tatsumi,"

"You owe me a favour Yuu,"

"Still, fuck you."

**####**

How y'all doin? It's dragonette. I can't find my cat.

Oh well.

I'm out.


	4. Hair Dye, Heart Problems, Pee

"Sorry for bothering you on such a lovely morning Nana-chan" I said as Nana, the owner of the salon put the finishing touch on my hair.

"Maa, it's alright! You're a precious customer after all~" she sang happily.

"That's because my father gets the bill.." I muttered under my breath.

"What did you say _Yuu-chan?_"

I looked in the mirror where she was behind me, her face scarier than an ogre, holding a pair of scissors menacingly. Shivers went down my spine.

"No–nothing Nana-chan. Ahahaha" I laughed nervously. Her intimidation level on me beats my dad. Maybe because she's a woman. Yeah that may be the cause.

"I heard that you had a baby with that Oga boy," she nonchalantly said while snipping some of the hair that aren't the same length with the others.

I choked on my tea. (tasteless, but my throat is dry so whatever)

"WHERE DID YOU HEARD THAT?!"

"Oh, here and there. I've got spies everywhere you know~" she winked at me.

"Nana-chan, I'm still a fucking virgin,"

"Still with the coarse languange, I see. Anyway, your father will love this juicy info," she took off the canvas thing that covered my body.

"The language or the baby?" I asked, looking at my hair in the mirror. Perfect.

"Both~"

"Oh come on Nana-chan! You're not that stupid to see that the baby isn't mine or Tatsumi's! I can't have a baby out of the blue!"

"Your father is going to love receiving the updates about you Yuu-chan~" Great. She's ignoring me.

Oh and did I tell you that she's a good friend of my old man?

The bell at the front door of the salon rang.

"Welcome sir! How may I–" Nana's greetings were cut short. Why?

Because Alaindelon walked in with his pink boxers and tank top. (Nana dropped her scissors)

And walked straight to me.

And split his body in half. (I thought Nana's eyes are gonna pop out of her sockets)

_And pushed me in his fucking dimensional body. _

Ooohh I'm going to enjoy fixing his face after this. No matter how awesome his mustache is.

**####**

His body split open after a while. I dramatically tried to get out of his body, only to sink in water.

I've experienced the feels that Titanic gets when she sunk. Poor ship.

Did I also tell you that I can't swim?

No?

Well bud, now you know my weakness.

As I drowned, I felt someone pulling me upwards towards the light...

Please don't tell me i died. I haven't told Tatsumi that I was the one who ate his croquettes last week.

Only to get pulled to Tatsumi's chest. Speak of the devil, then he shall appear.

"Your ability to drown is improving Yuu," he mocked me. I clung on to him like a monkey "Shut your trap Tatsumi! I just did my hair, man! Damn you!" I headbutted him. Hey, I'm not letting go of him and risk drowning again!

Wait... That statement oddly sounds like a confession.

And I think I'm forgetting something here... Oh right, my hair.

HOLY CRAPSTICK MY HAIR!

"Did the colour came off?!"

He checks my head "It looks fine to me," Then I noticed my arms were wrapped around his neck tightly to avoid drowning, both my legs are wrapped around his waist, pressing myself to him. His arms, were also wrapped around my waist, to ensure that I don't go to the depths of watery hell again. His cheeks seem to redden a bit when he realised what i realised.

My heart beat exccelerated.

I can feel the heat creeping up to my face.

What the hell is happening?

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed, letting go of him (accidently.. I swear) and his grip on me faltered because I pushed myself away from him. And I almost drowned again. But thankfully Tatsumi grabbed me (again) and wrapped his arm around my waist (again) and held me tightly against him (I choked on air holy shit) and looked at me weirdly.

"Why the fuck did you let go? Do you want to drown in this pool of pee?"

"I accidently let go cause you we–what did you say? Pee?" I looked at him, still flustered because of his actions (was he this manly all those years ago? His body is warm..) and bewildered because, a pool of pee?

Did I just drown and swallowed pee? More importantly I'm floating in _a pool of pee?_

_"_WHAT?!"

"OI DON'T SHOUT AT MY FUCKING EAR STUPID YUU!"

"BUT I JUST DROWNED IN A POOL OF PEE DUDE, I REPEAT, A POOL OF PEE AND THE POOL HAPPENS TO BE YOUR ROOM AND I WAS BOUGHT HERE BY THAT FUC–"

"Your peeing is incredible as always, Young Master!" A voice said. Beel made a sound ('ai?'). All of us turned to the voice which came from the window of Tatsumi's... pee pool.

"Floating... Floating... Floating..." Lo and behold, Alaindelon came in through the window, swimming as if this was a normal, chlorine-ish pool. "Float and stop!" He stopped right infront of us (oh how I wish to beat him into oblivion right now) and split his body into two to reveal...

"Oi where are you taking me?"

Furuichi. Eroichi. Creepichi. Silver haired Ero-Creep. I really love my naming skills.

"Wait this is–" Before he got to finish his sentence, he drowned. And Tatsumi just floated there with me clinging onto him, not moving an inch to help his friend.

"Maa, I simply wished to show Furuichi-sama this splendid urination!" He closed his eyes "It brings back memories,yes... back in the Demon World my daughter and I would often amuse ourselves floating down the urine..."

I pulled a face. And we just watched as Furuichi drown in Beel's pool if pee. I held back a laugh.

Seeing Furuichi drown is so entertaining.

Not that I'm a sadist or something...

Furuichi emerged from the urine "You go tubing down urine?!" He made some noises and finished his sentence with "Help me!"

Aaaaaannd went back into the water.

"Oi, do something about this flood already" Tatsumi said, looking at Hilda who is, the only one not wet and happily looking at us soaking in Beel's pee while floating in the air on her pet, ak-baba (Hilda told me its name yesterday as I expressed my interest in its cuteness..)

"Or maybe I can pull her in to join us have a little swim eh?" I grumbled. It's not fair!

She ignored me. "Humans, honestly.."

She sighed. "So be it."

**####**

"What the hell?" Tatsumi said, taking the words out of my mouth. We looked at the weird..thing covering Beel's private part. He looked so pitiful...

"Ooh, how fierce!" Alaindelon chriped. Aah! Right! I have a mission to do! I took a few steps towards Alaindelon and bonked his head. Hard. He yelped.

"What is that for, Yuu-sama?!" He said, cradling his head. "What for? FOR BRINGING ME HERE JUST AFTER I FINISHED MY HAIR MAINTAINENCE YOU LITTLE SHIT!" I huffed. The other occupants stared at me. "What? Oh, carry on, carry on~"

Hilda sighed, a bored expression on her face "It is an item from the Demon World which temporarily sends his urine into an alternate dimension. It is called, 'Peebeegone,'"

"It sounds cutesy." Furuichi said, looking at the thing "It's just a joke, right?" I rolled my eyes. Seriously, he still does not believe it? "Yuu, did you just rolled your eyes on me?"

"Yup. And the name is literally the function of the thing. It looks like a pot to me."

"Joke, no joke, it doesn't matter. This way the city can stay above water level," Tatsumi said, relieved.

"No, it will flood," Hilda voiced out nonchalantly.

"Eh?" All of us turned to the wet nurse (Beel raised his head)

"Although it's an alternate dimension, it is not infinite. It will only last 2 to 3 hours," She continued, looking at us boredly.

"What?!" Classic Tatsumi speaking.

"Can't we just replace it with a new one?" Good question Furuichi!

"There is no spare."

Of course. Why would there be any spare anyway.

"What?!"

"Stop saying 'what' Tatsumi, it's not gonna help," I said as I looked down at my clothes. it's drenched. I sighed. My combat boots are wet too...

I sat down on Tatsumi's bed (which made a 'squlech' sound) and procceded to take my shoes off. I wasn't really concentrating on the conversation that continued to flow, I was too busy self pitying my boots. They're my favourite, dammit! Then I noticed that both of them sat on the floor. What's happening?

"We've gotta **rip out our brains**!" Tatsumi determinedly said. All of us turned our heads to him.

"You mean, **muster our knowledge**..." Furuichi righted his words.

"**Rip them out**!"

"Uh, whatever you say, but don't involve me in it," Furuichi held his hand out, as if to stop him.

"But you're the only one I can count on!" My eye twitched. Oh? So I'm not countable? "You got a good idea right?"

So I don't have any brilliant ideas? Fine. I stayed silent.

"No I don't. And i don't wanna come up with one." Furuichi refused Tatsumi's request "Why not ask Yuu?"

Tatsumi's head snapped towards me so fast, I thought he was going to break his neck. He looked at me and stared.

"Hmph. You're not getting any ideas from me." I turned my head away, closing my eyes. "Come on Yuu! You're the mother!" He desperately said. I peeked open my eye and saw him turn back to Furuichi and said "You better come up with one!" He loudly said "Come up with one, or it's comin' out, got it?" He grabbed Beel and threateningly pointed Beel ('dabu') at Furuichi.

"That's not even close to funny! What's with that face?!" I silently observed my two, idiotic, plain stupid friends. I sighed. Why am i with them again? Oh right they're my friends. I just said it two seconds ago. I tuned out their argument and put on my boots again. Hey, even though it is entertaining sometimes it can get bored. Besides, they bicker like an elderly married couple.

I just finished tying my left boot when Tatsumi pulled me up with Beel in his hands and opened his bedroom door "Furuichi, you handle cleaning up the house!"

"Wait, what do you mean?! What should I do with everything soaked like this?! He ran to us as we decended the stairs, Tatsumi pulling me with him. "Fix it back up like it was! Countin' on ya!"

We ran out of the house, Tatsumi still pulling me and Beel on his back. "Just you wait Baby Beel! They said no leaks, no matter the amount!" I almost fell at his gullibility (is that even a word?)

"Uh Tatsumi they're just commercials.."

"The diaper doesn't leak Yuu!"

"Commercials tend to lie..."

"...JUST GO WITH IT!"

"Fine, fine..." I looked back to Beel, who was happy ( his eyes are sparkling...again) that Tatsumi's running fast.

Well, at least someone was enjoying.

**####**

**_Ssup guys. I kinda dissapeared for awhile because of school and my lazyness , ufufufu~ i dont know if i'll regularly update though and i might go on hiatus cause of 'the big exam'... Buuuuut thats a different story. Sorry if its dull. BUT I WILL UPDATE WHEN IM FREE MUAHAHAHAHHAHA_**

**_im out. _**


	5. RedHeadedSenpai,Robber, fuckyoulightning

We finally arrived at the store and Tatsumi immediately went to the infant's aisle (of course, pulling me again)

"Welco– Oh! It's Oga-chan and Shiranui-chan! What's up!"A red headed worker greeted us, smiling. He looks familiar... and he's looking at our hands.

Our hands?

I looked down to our hand that's still stuck together and was surprised that Tatsumi is still holding it and made no move to remove it whatsoever. Well, I'm just gonna leave it. We're supposed to be a couple, anyway (and his hand is bigger and it's warm... Don't look at me like that!)

"I'm looking for some mystical diapers..." Tatsumi straight forwordly asked "And who are you?"

"Oh, you mean Diapies? Those got all popular on the internet after people posted about them on Chirper–" Now that I looked long enough he looks really familiar... "–So we don't have any stock right now,"

"Eh you ain't got any?!" Tatsumi said dissapointedly. I groaned and facepalmed. I ran all the way here for nothing?! AND I RAN WITH WET SOCKS AND PANTS AND SHIRT MIND YOU! Well, the shirt and pants did dry from all the running but still..

I RAN WITH WET SOCKS! CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW SQUELCHY IT IS?!

"If you're looking for diapers, we have plenty of other brands" Tatsumi pulled grumpy me (again) towards the stacks of diapers lined neatly on the shelf. The familiar red head (he looks like a senpai from school?) took one and showed it to me and Tatsumi "Take a look at the different kinds," He smiled at us. Tatsumi grabbed a pink one and the blue one that the red head was holding earlier (and yes he let go of my hand) and compared both of the diapies. I held back my laugh that was threatning to burst out from the image in front of me.

Can you imagine Tatsumi, THE Oga Tatsumi doing some baby shopping? And he looks so serious! I grabbed the shelf beside me and clamped my hand on my mouth.

Must.. Hold.. Back..

"You were quite impressive back then, Oga-chan," the red head suddenly said. My held back laughter died in my throat. What's he talking about?

"About what?" he asked, still thinking which diapers should he pick.

"I hear Kanzaki-kun is going to take a month to heal fully" Tatsumi stopped comparing the diapers and looked at the red head.

Wait.

Kanzaki-senpai?

"But after that, things are gonna get busy–," he continued. Tatsumi crouched, setting both the diapers and Beel down. "–Since you did in one of Ishiyama's TKKH"

While they talked one-sidedly, I was still wreaking my brains for any red heads.. hmm.. Red heads... Red-headed senpai?

"Huh?" Was Tatsumi's brilliant reply.

"You didn't know? Those are the 4 great powers at our school," What? Great powers? Are they gods or something? "Tojo, Kunieda, Kanzaki, Himekawa... By taking the first letter of each of their names, you make the Ishiyama TKKH." He finished. Yup. Red-headed senpai he is.

"How about this one Beel?" Tatsumi put a diaper on Beel's head. Beel made a dissaproving noise. "Yeah, no kidding. These don't look like mystical diapers to me,"

"Stupid Tatsumi, that's not a way to wear diapers," I said, removing the diapers from Beel's head. "AND WHY THE FUCK DID YOU OPENED THE PACKAGE?!"

"Yare yare.." The red head gave up. I was hitting Tatsumi's head (with him cursing the fuck outta me) and just watched as he grabbed a trolley and pushed the trolley out of the store. I shrugged. That guy was a senpai too, in the same room with Kanzaki-senpai. I was too lazy to mention it to Tatsumi. He's busy anyway...

...putting diapers on Beel's head.

"Oi Tatsumi. Do you think his ass is as big as his head?!" Beel made a dissaproving noise again.

"But I have to know which one is better!" He barked back.

"By putting it on his head?" i questioned him "Oh wow you are such a genius Tatsumi I am so lucky to have a friend like you."

There was a ruckus at the front, and guess what I saw? Gun carrying people. three, to be exact. I internally groan, and turned to Tatsumi who was paying no heed to the three people carrying guns.

Classic Tatsumi strikes!

"Okay! This one then!" he said as he picked a yellow packed diapers. "That's totally different then the one you opened.." I sighed. Now that i think about it, I sighed a lot today... He stood up and attempted to walk to the cashier.

Keyword: Attempted.

He was stopped when a gun was pointed to his face "What?" was his stupid genius response. Beel's eyes turned all sparkly shit when he saw the gun, while me? Unless the rifle is in my fucking hands, no, I don't like it. My eyes narrowed at the man. I bet all they know is how to shoot that gun, and they don't even clean that baby. I rolled my eyes, not a bit disturbed that thief was holding a gun to my face.

I've faced Death-Death situations sooooo much, I think that Death himself is bored of always seeing me.

Stupid motherfuckers (no Death, not you)

We were told to sit down on the floor. I was surprised to see Hilda and Furuichi already on the floor. Sitting down in between Hilda and Tatsumi, I made a face.

Why do I, Shiranui Yuu, have to follow their orders?

Ugh.

Just then, a guy walked in, carrying some kind of machine gun.

Which made me remember back when I was 12. It was summer, and my old man (and a certain annoying white-haired bastard that won't leave me the fuck alone) decided that we're going back to Italy and he did a camp named 'Toughen Up, Yuu!' for me to 'show the loving side of him' (he even made the banner of the camp and persuaded his boss to help him toughen me up...)

And show his love he did.

One of the 'activities' that my old man organised for me was assembling and disassembling an M-16 rifle within the time limit with a dynamite stick in hand, which he declared 'harmless' (and i responded with 'LIES'). After a few hours (um...3 or 4 hours.. i think) and explosions and swearing that can put a sailor to shame that I did accomplish it.

You know the feeling when you play an awesome kick-ass game and the big boss comes out and makes things hard for you? And after thousands of times retrying you FINALLY kicked his ass to the curb?

Yeah that feeling.

Haa, good times, good times.

"Is this all the hostages we've got?" a cocky voice sounded, halting my travel down to memory lane and irking me. My eyes travelled to an ugly looking, cliché thief (no rasism here) with ugly dreadlocks covered by a hideous green beanie.

He seriously needs a fashion advisor.

He smirked as he looked at us, the hostages, his gun lazily resting on his shoulder. Nonchalantly I observed the hostages, (who are scared _shitless_) which, included Eroichi. I giggled.

Furuichi looks soooo funny!

The long haired woman glared at me, walking funnily (I think that's supposed to be intimidating... but it's not? Besides, what's with that outfit? All of them need fashion advisors, tsk tsk). She crouched down to my eye level and glared, yet again.

"What're you laughing at girl? Is this situation supposed to be funny?"

I openly yawned.

Her slanted eye visibly twitched.

And from the corner of my eye, I can see Furuichi panicking. Making signs at me to not make trouble.

How sweet.

I smirked "If you're trying to scare me with that glare, I suggest don't," I leaned closer to her ear– "_**Because I might want to carve your fucking eyeballs out**_," –sinisterly, quietly, whispering to her ear. I leaned back and grinned devilishly, gauging out her reaction.

The mighty looking woman (she looks like a transvitite though, just saying) was reduced to a pale-faced, wide-eyed, trembling woman. She hurriedly stood up and walked as far, far away from me, handguns still pointing to the other hostages.

Objective completed.

Then sirens blared outside the drugstore. They panicked, stacking boxes and fridge at the entrance door. "Damn it, we're surrounded by cops!" the ugly beanie guy said, looking outside "This is your fault for takin' your sweet time!" he said to the guy with the elvis hairdo (who flinched) "Well, as long as we have the hostages, they can't make their move easily," he sauntered towards us, scanning.

"Okay people. Don't go thinking anything stupid like puttin up a fight," she grinned, her confidence back (but apparently not enough to look me in the eye, pfft, coward)

"Armed robbery, grand larceny, property damage..." the guy with the cap said. I rolled my eyes.

I don't care for fuck's sake!

Discreetly, I whispered to Hilda "If they're done and procceded to the fun part, tell me," She opened her eyes and looked at me, confused. "What fun?" She whispered back. I rolled my eyes. "When Tatsumi's beating the shit out of them, that's when the fun starts" I winked at her, procceding to lean back on the aisle and closing my eyes.

Nap time, Bitches.

**####**

Waking up to a gun blasting away at your ears is not a good way to wake up to. Opening my eyes, I saw Tatsumi in front of me with Beel making satisfied noises.

Now, now, I wonder why.

"Zenkou, how's it look outside?" The ugly beanie guy asked the elvis guy.

I scooted closer to Tatsumi, the woman too scared to come close to me and the cap guy too distracted picking his nose throughly. I poked Tatsumi. He jumped, turning his body to me. "Ah, you're awake," Beel was reaching for the machine gun, effectively blocking Tatsumi's face. "How wasth the napth," My eyebrow quirked. "Not so much. If you can even call that a nap."

Beel stepped on Tatsumi's head, earning a complaint from said person and grabbed the upper nozzel of the machine gun.

Oh shit.

"Beel don't–"

"What's with this kid?" The ugly beanie guy said, waving the machine gun dangerously.

Which caused the nose of the pot on Beel's private got_ stuck at the fucking machine gun. _

_"_BABY BEEL!"

"HOLY FUCK, BEEL!"

Tatsumi and I shouted respectively, moving forwards to pluck him out of the dangerous thing, genuinely concerned towards the the green haired baby.

"Don't move!" The woman pointed her handgun towards me and Tatsumi. I ignored her.

"I told you not to move, you!" Her handgun was directly between my eyebrows, barely touching my forehead. I can feel the cool metal whispering sweet nothings to my pretty forehead. I looked at her, challenging her to shoot with a wide grin on my face.

"Yuu, don't." Came Tatsumi's voice.

Damn it.

"I'll be takin this baby," Ugly Beanie declared.

"WHAT?!"

I swear me and Tatsumi are like twins, saying things at the exact same time. Beel was struggling to push himself off the gun, while Ugly Beanie said some shit that I could care less about.

And I watched with pure amusement.

I mean, it's not wrong to see a baby struggle sometimes right?

Furuichi scooted beside me ,"Oga you did it! Even if you don't ask this guy he's gonna take him away!"

I looked at him dumbly. Ugly Beanie is not Tatsumi, that's for sure.

"Right... Yeah," He doesn't look like he's sure, that Tatsumi. "If he really takes Baby Beel to Hong Kong with him, Japan will be safe from the flood!"

"Wow, Oga, for you that's good thinking!"

"Um guys..?" Both of the boys looked at me. "What about Beel zapping you when he gets like, 15 metres away from you..?"

"He won't because he's gonna form a contract with that guy already," Tatsumi said.

"Well, what if he doesn't like that guy and ends up crying and zapping us all with lightning?" I shot back. Don't they see Beel doesn't like that guy?

The sound of something crackling caught our attention.

To be exact, the sound of _electricity _is crackling in the air _around Beel. _

Oh fuck.

Beel cried and we got electrocuted.

Yay me.

**####**

**_What's up people! Dragonette here. I feel bad for not updating for so long (blame my lazyness and school) and i dont think that this chapter is good enough. IM SO SORRYYYYYYYYYY!_**

**_Ehem. Thank you for the reviews and follows and favourites, it makes me giddy, tee hee~_**

**_And OhMyGod bless you Manami Uchiha for suggesting the ship name YuGa. Holy mother of Hell its CUTE!_**

**_okay im ranting im out. _**


	6. Pain, Bride, Tattoo

When I got electrocuted for the first time by Beel, I thought something along the lines of 'So this is how it feels like to be electrocuted' and ends with 'It fucking hurts,' or 'worse than a bitch.'

Recently as I got used to the pain, when I get electrocuted by Beel, I'm just thinking something along the lines of 'Who the fuck made him cry' and ends with 'Let me circumcise his dick' or 'Let me fucking pluck their eyes out with my fucking fingers'

Which is what I'm feeling now. The feeling of electric running down your veins and sizzling to your fucking bones enough to make a grown man cry (and apparently die) is not fun.

At all.

As the crying reduced, so does the pain. I can barely see Hilda walking towards Ugly Beanie, standing in front of him and behind Beel. I concentrated on breathing calmly, closing my eyes and ignored their conversation.

I ignore a lot of conversations don't I?

"Yuu,"

Ugh, what is it?

"Yuu," a voice, Tatsumi's voice called me, shaking me awake.

"What Tatsumi?" I snapped my eyes open, irritated.

"Get up, you lazy fuck"

"I SAID SHUT IT, you," someone snapped. "When I ain't got any more use for him, I'll just ditch him!"

That made me get up (slowly though, I'm too fucking lazy) and narrowed my eyes at the voice, who turned to be Ugly Beanie.

As much as I don't like getting involved with demons and sentenced to hell for helping them (I am going to hell anyways) He's still a baby, (a deadly one) and kinda grows on you.

Of course, with his loving electric zaps and sparkly eyes (Don't forget the nakedness).

"Then I will take you to Hong Kong, just as you wish," Hilda spoke up.

Wait.

Something's fishy.

I said so because the invisible antenna on top of my head twitched.

_And it's always right._

She raised her left arm and "Akbaba!"

Akbaba destroyed the wall and left me coughing because of the debris.

Oh well it's okay, since Akbaba is as cute as fuck. He screeched (OH MY GOD IS IT EVEN LEGAL TO HAVE A CUTE MOTHERFUCKING SCREECH?!) leaving all the wannabe robbers covering themselves from the force in Akubaba's screech.

Ugly Beanie laughed (Is that fear i sense?) "Interesting! Let's go people!"

"Hold on a sec," Tatsumi said, raising his palm to.. well... ask him to stop? I was already standing beside him, arms folded and just wishing, god can you please get this thing over already?! Tatsumi took Beel ( with the rifle stuck to the fucking pot, which i choked my laughter down) grinning and said "I think you should all go by yourselves"

And punched Ugly Beanie, sticking him up to the celing. Hallelujah!

"No holding back for robbers either!" I heard Furuichi murmur.

"Well what do you expect? That Tatsumi's gonna invite them for a fucking tea party?" I snorted. Tatsumi in a dress though...

Maybe I should force him in a dress one day... I chuckled evily, rubbing my palms together.

"Yuu... you look like a fucking psycho" Tatsumi said, side glancing at me.

The rest of the wannabe robbers fainted seeing Tatsumi's display of strength (pussies). I turned to Beel, wondering when is he going to brust out in pee again. His face looked troubled.

The pot's begining to crack.

Oh fuck. Me and my big fucking mouth.

I took a step back and it burst out, Beel thrown back because of the force of his pee.

Wait.

Beel is going to hit something and probably crack his head open.

"YOUNG MASTER!"

"BEEL!"

"BABY BEEL!"

I grabbed Beel's arm, while Tatsumi grabbed Beel's leg.

Hilda was shocked.

"Three hours sure fly by.." Tatsumi complained, holding Beel up.

"Well, duh, you're that fucking slow in beating this motherfuckers up," I said, annoyed by his complain.

Hilda was as still as a statue.

"Oi, Yuu, do something would you? You're supposed to be his mother you know,"

"Oh fuck me" I murmured, turning to Hilda "Hilda, I'm new to these things. Mind if you lend a hand?" Hilda broke out of her stillness.

"Aww, I thought I'd finally saved Japan," Tatsumi said, holding Beel properly. I let go of Beel's arm and snorted. "You? Save Japan? Keep on dreaming Tatsumi,"

"You don't know that Yuu. Maybe i'll be like Naruto or something,"

"Pffft. Tatsumi, Naruto is way much more cooler than you. Besides, he has a demon fox in his body while you have a demon baby. See the difference?" Tatsumi glared at me, and Akbaba rubbed it's head at my arm. Hilda (how the fuck–you know what, nevermind) reached out a hand for Beel, and Beel looked at Hilda with cute eyes. "Hop on. We'll fly to the ocean," she said with all her huge boobs of glory (It's no use denying the fact that I do look at her boobs okay?!)

And of course, Beel being Beel, agreed with those _motherfucking sparkles_ in his eyes.

AND WHY DID WE NOT DO THIS EARLIER?!

You know what, fuck it.

**####**

That night, I slept over at Tatsumi's house because his mother and sister insisted. And guess where did I sleep?

In Tatsumi's fucking bedroom, duh. That's where. I swear to Lucifer that Hilda snickered. Not that I'm not used to it. Hell, I always slept over at his house. But this.. situation is different. Before, I sleep over here for gaming, mangas and all that shit and his parents know. But this time... I'm sleeping here with them thinking that me and Tatsumi are actually going to, quoting Tatsumi's father, "have a babymaking session". In which, Hilda also snickered.

Bitch.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Lightning flashed and struck both Tatsumi and me.

"What the fuck Beel?!" I screeched. He laid beside me for fuck's sake I get most of the lightning!

"Shit! Why are you so cranky in the middle of the night?!" Tatsumi howled in agony (i want to laugh but i'm getting zapped too so..)

Tatsumi got up from the floor ( always letting me sleep on his bed and him on the floor. Such a gentleman) to switch on the light and dropping to all fours after the light switched on.

"What the hell do you want?" he asked Beel, who is sitting on the bed, irritated at god-knows-what. I was still laying down, recovering my senses. Beel yelled at Tatsumi, making him cringe and reaching for the rattle thing.

"Fine, here you go–" ( rattle ) "–Damn that noise is annoying!"

"Tatsumi.. just let him listen to the metal cd I gave you..." I said, annoyed that the light is on and I can't have a fucking date with ed.

You know, ed.

As in b-ed.

Joke of the year, bitches.

"Genius Yuu!" Tatsumi grabbed the cd and radio, plugging in the headphones and stuck it to Beel's ears. Beel perked up. "Then I'll just raise the volume a little..."

And Beel fell asleep.

Demons, I don't understand them at all.

"Now while i have the chance.." Tatsumi tiptoed and apparently forgotten that the cord of the headphone is there. Which caused him to trip over the damn thing.

Loud music blasted in the room (I'm not bothered by it, metal is good stuff) and Misaki burst in the room, stopping the metal music. Tatsumi blanched. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IS IT?!" Misaki pointed at Tatsumi, pissed off.

"Yeah! But! Baby Beel was.."

"You'll wake up the neighbours!" She reminded and slammed the door close. I was still laying down, enjoying my date with ed.

My one true love, ed.

OH, HOW I LOVE YOU ED!

"Uh.. Yuu..."

"What..."

"You better got off the bed no–"

Lightning struck both of us.

Oh joy.

**####**

I wake up the next morning alone. Beel was not by my side and Tatsumi is gone. Bastard.

Changing and grabbing my school bag, I walked nonchalantly to the front door, not forgetting to say good morning to Tatsumi's mother and grabbing a toast, to see Hilda at the front door.

"Hilda? Where are you going?" said person turned around, eyebrows raised.

"You just woke up." She stated with her bored tone.

"Yeah and I'm going to school. What do you have there?"

Hilda gave me the plastic bag and when I checked it out, it turned out to be Beel's milk.

"He forgot it again?" I sighed. "I'll take it. Are you coming too?"

"No. Alaindelon will get you to school." Hilda waved to Alaindelon, who, magically appeared at her side. He split his body into two (I'm still wondering if i can see his organs) and I walked in it.

After a few minutes Alaindelon opened up his body again for me to see that the school corridor is full of delinquent bodies, their heads stuck to the wall and floor. Tatsumi was standing and rubbing his eyes, only to freeze a few seconds later. I walked to him and peeked from his arm.

"What the hell is that?" I asked as I saw the back of Tatsumi's right hand.

A tattoo.

A blood-ish coloured tattoo.

Which is, in my definition, cool as fuck.

Tatsumi looked at me questioningly. Alaindelon disappeared,leaving me alone with Tatsumi. "Why are you here?"

"Because you left me alone in the house. How could you Tatsumi? I-I thought we had something.. Not just a one night stand..." I fake sobbed, rubbing my eyes and looked at him. I heard a few murmurs behind me, but I ignored it.

"Yuu, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"Oh and you kinda forgot Beel's milk. He might throw a tantrum again you know."

"I did? No wonder I feel like something's missing.." Tatsumi rubbed his eyes again, eye bags apparent.

"But why did you left home and not wake me up?"

"You look like you need sleep. Besides, as if your snore isn't an indication already,"

"I don't snore!"

"Uhah! Hot bitch found!" a new voice interuppted our small talk. A few delinquents walked towards us. I looked at Tatsumi and whispered "Who's the hot bitch?"

"Amazing! Treasure, treasure!" another voice chirped.

I suddenly felt a weight on my shoulders. I looked at the unknown person blankly, planning his demise quietly but left his arm on my shoulders. I can break it, anytime. "You alone?" "You shouldn't come to this place alone," I rolled my eyes. Being the only girl in this boy infested school, this thing is, an usual thing to me, except it only happened when I walked alone in school, looking for Tatsumi.

This is a first.

Then, one of the boys noticed Oga, who was staring at something. Then, he shouted. "O-OGAA!" Tatsumi responded with his usual "hm?" while still staring at something. I looked at the direction he's staring at, and it led to the arm on my shoulders. Oh? He wants me to get rid of this thing? Rolling my eyes, I grabbed the arm, twisting it and punching the straighten elbow, breaking it with a clean crack of his bone. The boy screamed in agony, falling down to the floor. The other two looked at me, shocked, and looked at Tatsumi. The two then bowed down to me, saying "sorry" and "We didn't know that you were his woman!".

I twitched.

And a psychotic smile formed on my face. "If you think sorry is enough, than think again, fucktards" Both looked at me, puzzled. Then shivered when they saw the smile on my face.

Let's just say, both of them ended up with broken bones and swollen faces.

After I finished, Tatsumi, who was waiting patiently dragged me to the roof.

I didn't miss the whispers of me.

"No doubt about it,"

"She is Oga's bride"

Great job, Yuu, for confirming to the whole fucking school that you're Tatsumi's fucking bride.

**####**

As we reached the rooftop, surprisingly Hilda and Alaindelon (along with Eroichi, who is eyeing Hilda's boobs. Tsk, horny bastard) were waiting for us. "Hilda? I thought you said–" I was cut off with her rude reply "I changed my mind"

"Bitch," I murmured. "Do you guys know what is this?" Tatsumi asked, raising his hand to show the bloody tattoo at the back of his hand.

"Ooooh it's that," Hilda looked at the mark with interest. Alaindelon peeked at the mark "Ooooo, it certainly is, to come out that wonderfully.." Alaindelon looked at it closer. "It's that huh..." Hilda looked at the tattoo again, "Yup. It's that. How clever, I never expected it to come out that fast."

"CAN YOU EXPLAIN IT BETTER?! WHAT IS IT WITH THE 'THAT' REFERENCE?!" I shouted, irritated.

"Yeah you go Yuu!" Tatsumi cheered me on, Beel joining in.

" 'That' is what we call a Contract Spell, or a Contract Seal." Hilda said, gripping the fence of the rooftop.

"Contract..?" Tatsumi dumbly repeated.

"A human who has made a contract with a demon will get that curse mark engraved somewhere on the body," Hilda continued "That seal is, The Fly King Seal, a zebub spell, royal family crest." She side glanced towards us, smirking. "Think of it as an honour. You can't even count how many humans in the past thousands of years who've been engraved,"

"Shit Tatsumi," I cursed, running my fingers through my hair while Tatsumi had this certain 'holy fuck' look in his face.

"In other words, you have been accepted by the young master. It means you've formally created the contract." Hilda finished her explaination.

"Umm.. It's kinda pointless to ask now but–" Furuichi had a look on his face (i don't know what is it, don't ask me, i ain't no face reader..or something) "–Why does the demon lord even need a parent?"

Silence.

"Eh–ah–well–I mean you come here with orders from the Great Demon Lord to destroy humans right?" True... "And yet you were told to make a human as a parent. Isn't that weird? Isn't Hilda-san good enough?"

Realization dawned on both Tatsumi and me.

Holy shit, I'm as dumb as Tatsumi now?!

"It's a catalyst.. In other words, the demon king's parent is in order for the overly young young master to display his magic powers in the human world," Alaindelon explained. "The help of a human acting as a catalyst is needed,"

Hilda crossed her arms. "No matter how much electricity you have, without powerlines to carry it, there'd be no meaning, right? It's just like that."

"So the higher the powerline's conductivity, the higher the power that Beel can pull out.." I murmured, thumb at my lips.

"Exactly," Hilda agreed "That seal on Oga's fist is that parameter–the more you're in tuned with the young master, the more complex it will become,"

"In short, the more you treat humans around you like raggedy dust rags–" Hilda smirked, albeit smugly.

This is bad, that smirk sent alarms off in me brain.

"–the more like a true demon king you will become!"

what.

Did I hear that right?

Tatsumi will become a true demon king... I turned to Tatsumi, looking at his fist.

Tatsumi?

Demon king?

Yuu' is still processi—

HOLY FUCK!

**####**

Tatsumi walked lifelessly, while I just strode beside him as usual, the information I received already digested and to be honest, it's fun. I mean, when else can you see Tatsumi walking like a zombie?

We met a couple of delinquents (of course we did, this school is literally a fucking gangsta school) who seemed shocked at Tatsumi's appearence.

"Yo, you feel like hitting me?" Tatsumi asked raising his fist, scaring the elvis-ish hairdo guy. Tatsumi pumped his fist and grinned (maniacally, duh!) and said "I..Hate Violence!" I chuckled. "So let's all be friends," he said as we walked away, leaving confused boys.

"Soo Tatsumi," I chirped, walking with a little bounce in my step beside him "Wanna bet how long you'll last?"

"Yuu, go die in a hole"

"No can't do, you idiots might miss me too much and commit suicide just to be together with me~"

Tatsumi groaned.

**####**

/somewhere in an abandoned, vandalised building/

"Himekawa-san, I took this picture today" A guy said, handing a photo of a certain platinum blue haired girl, her lips stretched in a psychotic smile, her storm grey eyes alight with a sadistic tint, with rare aristocratic features to die for. "It appears to be Oga's bride,"

"Huh." a guy with a pompadour hairdo, purple tinted sunglasses held up the photo to his face, observing the girl.

"How nice."

**####**

**ssup gais. t****is' dragonette 'ere, writing this with period cramps! **

**AND ITS A NEW CHAPTER!**

**YAAAYYYY MEEE!**

**I'm so sorry if this sucks, i just finished the mock exam and the real exam is on the 3rd of november... I will update if i can, SO NO WORRIES MY KITTIES! (Tell me if Yuu goes mary sue though, don wanna go that way.)**

**okay im ouT**


	7. Dad, Pompadour, Decency

"Got it, Baby Beel?" Tatsumi said seriously.

"Da!"

"Being a man means...once you've decided on something, you can never go back, you understand?"

"I will..never fight again," the wind blew, adding the so called effect of Tatsumi's 'promise'.

Pffft, trust me, he won't last a day.

As Tatsumi ranted something about not bitch slapping people and not forcing them to kneel to him (impossible, he IS a sadist after all) I turned to Furuichi, who was seated beside me, fishing.

"Furuichi"

"Huh?"

"Wanna bet on how long he'll last?" I asked, an angelic expression on my face.

"I'm betting three days," he nonchalantly said, still fishing.

"You're too generous Creep-ichi, I'm betting that he won't even last a day~"

Furuichi looked at me, deadpanned. I grinned "Sooo, what's the prize?"

It was Creep-ichi's turn to grin "If I win, you'll have to set me up with a bombshell. If you win, I'll be your servant for a week."

I smirked. Looks like someone's over confident. I leaned back, relaxing and breathing in the fresh air. "Your choice Creep-ichi. Don't come crying to me when I win~"

"It's a promise between men" Tatsumi's voice reached both of our ears. "Can you do it?"

"Da!"

They already made a promise?

I snickered.

And procceded to bang my head against the floor of wooden jety.

What?

I needed to get things off my mind okay?!

Like how the letter that's clutched in my hand right now, with the mark of my old man's famiglia, appeared from thin air, at the foot of my bed this morning without me noticing.

At the foot of my fucking bed.

While I was fucking sleeping. (well that is understandable because I sleep worse than a log..)

And only one person besides my old man can do the deed (that white haired bastard!). I sighed, rereading the words printed on the rich, crisp paper.

_Yuu, _

_This is your father, if you don't remember, as you have always had such a forgetful brain. I wonder if it is because all of the porn you watched? _

_I'm just joking dear child. _

_...But you don't watch porn do you? If you do, I have to give you 'the talk', if you get it._

_I am doing fine in Italia (not that you would ask), but my work is getting so tiresome for an old man like me to do, and getting blood and brain bits on my suit is such a pain. At my age I should be there in Japan with you, gardening, training you, taking care of you, or doing things that an old man always does._

_I will be coming to visit you soon enough. _

_Even though I said it a few months ago, I was busy dealing with idiots and manipulative bastards. _

_Oh dear, I slipped my tongue again. But it doesn't matter, as Nana said you have been cursing as much as I am when I was young. _

_I haven't any time to spend with you recently and this old man is missing his boyish daughter. _

_How is Tatsumi? Is he still beating other people for his entertainment? I heard from Nana that you and him had a child. A green haired one at that. Yuu, why did you not tell me this earlier? I did add a few digits to your bank after hearing that. Getting the news that I am a grandfather already makes me realize that I have indeed aged.. And hearing that dear Tatsumi is the father makes me so happy..._

_In short, I am estatic to be a grandfather! Though, Guiliano is whining that you already have a, quoting the white haired man, a 'special someone' _

_I also dearly hope that you have revised your subjects. Remember, the delinquent school is just for your entertainment and training. _

_Oh, Giuliano also sends his regards (although i see no point, as he is the one delivering the letter to the foot of your bed as I command). I have to go now though, your old man needs to go and blow up some brains. _

_Love from Italia, _

_Alma Zaccaro_

I pinched the bridge of my nose. That troublesome old man is coming to visit me soon.

_Soon_.

Why the fuck can't he be specfic when is he coming here?! And what the fuck does Guiliano means by 'special someone'?! Tatsumi and I do NOT have that kind of relationship.

More importantly, WHO THE HELL SENDS LETTERS WHEN YOU HAVE EMAILS AND AND CELL PHONES FOR FUCKS SAKE MY OLD MAN IS SO OLD SCHOOL— ah wait. That's where I get my decency from. Thank god. If not i would've been lounging around in a fucking bikini in the middle of winter—

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt someone collided with me.

"Ha?" I looked up to see Furuichi standing as if to shield me from something. He turn his head to me, his expression panicked "Yuu, ru–"

Clonk!

His head was hit, falling in front of me and giving me a clear view of what he was shielding me from.

Three thugs, eyeing me.

Shit.

I let my guard down! Before I could do anything (What a good day to be slow like a fucking sloth Yuu, good day indeed), i felt a strong force hit my head.

I blacked out. My old man is soooo gonna give me a lecture about letting my guard down.

Which of course, involves a spar.

**####**

Waking up from the feeling that someone was pulling your hair up, is not the best way for a wake up call. But I was dropped abruptly, smaking my cheeks to cold and hard surface (ow, be gentle you bastard!). Opening my eyes slowly, My surroundings were blurry and my head pounding. Blinking my eyes a few times, the first thing I saw was Furuichi, tied and beaten up with Hilda beside him, in the same state as Furuichi.

Weird. I thought demons have like, super healing. And I thought demons are like, way, waaaaaayyy out of a human's league. And, man-made things aren't supposed to affect them in any way, yes?

...No?

Okay...

"Yuu! You've come too huh?" Furuichi beamed happily.

"Yeah.. what the fuck did they hit my head with? A fucking truck?" I tried to get up since I was on my stomach, but I ended up squirming and it takes a lot of effort and I'm too lazy for effort, so I gave up. Not that I've never been in this kind of situation before..

What? Having an old man that kicks (and apparently kills) other peoples' asses does makes me a magnet to trouble.

"Yuu..."

"Not now Furuichi I'm too damn lazy to sit up." I slurred, too lazy to form words. "Besides, who the hell tied me up? Is this a kinky situation?"

Furuichi sweatdropped.

A silver haired guy with a ridiculous pompadour and purple tinted glasses approached us, holding a–squirt gun? "My men tied you up miss~" He said.

"Well then, I'd like to call Oga-kun but–" His eyes locked with mine "Can I borrow your cellphone?"

"Uh... Sure... right pocket.." I responded, confused. He smirked.

"Really? I'm too lazy to kneel down to reach it so–" Pompadour pointed his gun at my khaki shorts that reach my knees (the ones with awesome pockets!) "–Service, service!" Then he pulls the trigger of the squirt gun and changed his aim at the last minute, shooting some kind of liquid to me. My eyes widen, as after he shot that liquid I felt the light breeze and the sound of my phone dropping on the cold, hard, floor.

That bastard. I didn't hear any of Furuichi's shouts, I was too busy cursing because my right shoulder and my right thigh, was bare. My clothes,_ my precious clothes_ were turned into _dish rags. _

And. I. Was. Fucking. Bare.

I AM A DECENT PERSON GODDAMNIT!

I looked up at him, snarling.

"Oh lookie here! There it is~" Pompadour knelt down and picked up my phone, caressed my thigh. I flinched, wiggling (like an awesome caterpillar I am) to get away from him. That's when I heard Furuichi shouting for him to stop.

"I TOLD YOU TO STOP DIDN'T I?!" Furuichi shouted with rage, charging at Pompadour only to get held back and the gun pointed at him. "You have her phone so there is no need in molesting her!" He said, still struggling to attack Pompadour. I gotta say, he look pissed.

"Furuichi, it's fine. Now sit down before the rope tears your skin." I said calmly, glaring at Pompadour, who flipped open my phone and dialed Tatsumi's number, putting it on speaker mode.

Beep beep.

Beep be–

"Hello~ Oga-kun~"

"Who are you? You're not Yuu." Tatsumi's voice sounded tense. Did he get electrocuted by Beel again?

Damn, my eyes are getting drowsy...

Pompadour smirks "Ah, Fine, fine that reaction. I'm just gonna state my buisness so listen like an idiot,– I've got your bride and two of your friends, so if you want them back, come to the place I tell you, alone.." I didn't listen to the rest of it, because I fell asleep.

Hey, I need my beauty sleep too okay.

**####**

I was forced to wake up again, because apparently, Pompadour really wants to strip me naked. What am I talking about? You see, when I was asleep, he burned (not literally, the liquid just did that) my clothes again, leaving my shirt only covering the left side of my shoulder area (not to mention that he made my right BRA STRAP GONE, THAT PERVERTED MOTHERFUCKING BASTARD), the sleeve hanging uselessly, the front of my stomach bare for everyone to see (no, i am not flabby.. if that's what you are thinking). My khaki shorts which already has a huge assymetrical slit at my right side, was ruined to a really short shorts, at both sides.

I don't really like this. He even offered me to be his fucking concubine! (which, I answered with a "Fuck no")

I glared at him, as he punched Furuichi because that idiot said Tatsumi's not gonna come. Furuichi sat up again, the corner of his mouth bleeding.

"He'll come. He'll definitely come." He assured Hilda, "That's what kind of guy he is.."

"Furuichi, don't be stupid and just sit down. These assholes aren't worth the energy," I said. It's true. I doubt that Pompadour is stronger than me, by skills, at least. Furuichi stares at my state, "Yuu.. you look—"

"Like shit?" I offered helpfully.

"—actually i was going to say hot. Wait I'm still gonna say hot so.." Furuichi looked at me with such seriousness I almost got a heart attack.

"...Yuu, you really have a great body. I'm surprised why you cover yourself so much. "

I stared at him.

And stared.

Stared.

"Go fuck yourself Eroichi."

"Himekawa-san!" A guy entered from the door, frantic. "I can see somebody! Someone's in the building!"

Pompadour, or Himekawa (I'm still gonna call him pompadour because his hair is fucking ridiculous) responded nonchalantly. "All right, for now surround him,"

But what they bought in the room was the opposite of what we thought entered the building.

Guess who?

It's Alaindelon.

Hallelujah.

"How useless.." Hilda muttered blankly, while Eroichi was having a panic attack.

Alaindelon was beaten up and tied, just like us. I sighed. Tatsumi sure is taking his sweet, sweet time. I need a bath and a first aid kit for fuck's sake! Not to mention get some new clothes!

"Ku ku.. How unfortunate, It's the time limit." Pompadour said, amused.

"OGA YOU IDIIIIOOOOTTT! DUMBASS SHIT STAIN! I'M DEFINITELY GONNA COME BACK AND HAUNT YOUR ASS!" Furuichi cursed/shouted, while I laughed (the caps lock HAHA laugh, by the way), and other people in the room looked at me as if I'm batshit crazy.

As if I am.

Wha—DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT I AM NOT THAT INSANE!

"Who's the idiot?"

The laughter died in my throat (tears were forming by the way). That voice. Tatsumi? And it came from...

I trailed my eyes to Alaindelon, raising my eyebrows in surprise.

"Geez, you guys" Alaindelon's body splitted in half, revealing Tatsumi's face in his legendary demon mode (and Beel too, he looks downright adorable) "All you do is cause me trouble," As soon as he got out of Alaindelon's body (sounds suggestive..) he punched the first person he sees, "Sorry for the wait." He turned his head towards us, eyes stopping at my condition.

I know I suck at reading people but, is it just my imagination that I see Tatsumi's eyes burned with rage, his jaw clenching? "Yuu,"

I smirked "You're late, asshole,"

"Wasn't it.. You're not going to fight anymore?" Eroichi said hesitantly. Tatsumi just stared. Mostly at me. Then he opened his mouth to speak.

"This isn't a fight. What I'm doing from here on is the king's—" His fist tensed. Damn it, if only i can break out of these pesky ropes! Then I can join in the fun!

"—Execution.."

Murmurs filled the silent room, most of them scared. "How cool... What an entrance." Pompadour smiled "Are you planning to be a magician when you grow up?"

"Yeah.. This is the beginning of 'Oga-kun's perfect illusion' " Tatsumi smiled demonically. I shiver. This show is going to get really good.. Too bad I'm not in the casting though.. "Everyone will disappear..."

"How much.." Pompadour began.

"Huh?"

"How much for you to be my subordinate?"

I choked on my spit. He seriously thinks Tatsumi is that kind of money crazy thug? (with me he is, but that's a different story)

"This isn't a bad topic, is it? I'm kinda interested in you.." Pompadour said, sitting down on the chair.

Eh...?

Holy Shit...ake Mushroom...

IS HE GAY?!

"If we group up, It'll be easier to unify Ishiyama,"

Oh. I thought he was gay.

"How should I say this.." Tatsumi's face is blank, "Who the hell are you?" He asked, hands grabbing his neck, cracking it. The whole room got silent. I can literally see mouths drop in shock. Pompadour's face is unreadable.

Yeah. Who the hell is this guy anyway?

AND FURUICHI IS GONNA BE MY SLAVE FOR A WEEK AWWW YISSS!

My mind wandered to other stuff.. Like, when is my old man coming? He told me months ago he is 'coming soon' via phone. And now through letter? Or maybe, is the white haired bastard, Giuliano here? Watching or stalking me? I shiver. That guy is one, clingy son of a bitch. And my old man knows about Beel... and he said he hoped that I studied.. Which i haven't. That means, dynamites, machine guns, new flooring, new burns and probably Giuliano fussing and clinging and hugging me to death. Not a good way to spend the reunion of father and daughter, aye?

**####**

While Yuu was thinking with her blank face on, (her eyes are already droopy again, that lazy sloth) she definitely did not hear the conversation at all, and did not notice the look that Tatsumi gave her, at her state... Because she fell asleep.

No, really, she did, no shit.

When does she not sleep?! That lazy fuck!

"They aren't worth any more than that.." Pompadour's whisper fueling his perfectly concealed rage, looking over at both Furuichi and Hilda, and at Yuu once again. Tatsumi turned his head to Pompadour, his face demonic.

He punched Pompadour's torso.

**####**

I looked at the giant, holy-mother-mary-it's-fucking-huge, vanilla ice cream in front of me. I drooled. Literally. I mean, who doesn't?! That's one huge motherfucking ice cream and I want it!

So I ran agonisingly slow, reaching for it. But it keeps getting further.

And further.

Further.

"COME BACK HERE YOU PIECE OF COLD SEXY HUGE ONE HELL OF A KIND ICE CREAM BEAST!" I shouted. It's getting far and far away! And why the hell am I running so damn slow?!

"U!" Wait did it just talk?

"YEAH! THATS RIGHT! MY NAME ENDS WITH A U AND IT'S YUU, REMEMBER THAT BECAUSE I'M THE ONE THAT'S EATING YOU!" Hey that rhymes!

"–Uu"

NO! IT'S GOING FAR AWAY! DON'T GOOOO!

"COME BACK HERE AND LOVE ME!" I yelled, hoping to get that delicious son of a—

"Yuu!"

I woke up to someone shaking me. And by shaking me, I mean throwing my brain back and forth. I looked around blearily, searching for that ice cream.

"Yuu what the fuck are you looking for?" Tatsumi said, looking at me weirdly. Ah?

"Is it over? I want the ice cream! The vanilla.. Huge vanilla ice cream..." I said dreamily, still imagining the creamy, cold ice cream...

Tatsumi looks at me weirdly and sighed. "Let's go home Yuu," he said, his arms already at the back of my knees and my back, lifting me up easily.

"WAIT WAIT WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" I shouted, freaking out because this is totally weird! And it doesn't help that my blood pumping organ is beating furiously!

"I'm carrying you."

"No, put me down! I can walk!"

Tatsumi looks at me momentarily, from head to toe, his face turned to a shade red, and deliberately turned his head away. I frowned. What is wron–

Oh.

My clothes. I looked down and did a once over on my condition. My shirt is reduced to a homemade crop top, with my right shoulder bare, my khaki shorts turned to shorts... which shows a lot of skin.

I am, definitely, (in my definition) half naked right now. "Uh.. Tatsumi.. you can put me down now.." He automatically put me down and murmured something that sounds like 'stay behind me' and 'so no one can see'. I looked at Beel and Beel looked at me. I smirked.

"Aww, Tatsumi that's sweet of you~"

"Da!"

"Shut up Yuu"

"But why is your face so red?"

"Dabu!"

"SHUT IT!"

**####**

"He had steel on his torso?! That sneaky motherfucker.." I gaped. "And he even electrocuted you.. But obviously that won't work." Because he was electrocuted everyday by Beel. It's like a daily show.

Well, featuring guest star, me.

That night Tatsumi crashed at my house, (he called his parents firsthand) talking about the action that I missed earlier. I looked at his right arm where the awesome-kickass-bloody-ish tattoo was and poked it.

"That's what you got for doing the super punch huh?" I poked it again. "It's fucking awesome" I fake whispered.

"It's not, shithead! I'm this close to being a demon king right now!" Tatsumi held up his hand and made a pinching gesture which is supposed to picture how close he was to becoming a demon king, and ruffled his hair frustratingly.

"Correction : Kind of a demon king. You're still human, moron." I looked at him, pokerface on.

Beel laid beside him, sleeping soundly.

"What about Hilda? When I woke up she wasn't there" Hilda and Alaindelon was nowhere to be seen after my ice cream dream. And Eroichi was still tied up.

The kidnappers are kinky all right.

"That woman can get out of the ropes alright. She was just testing me."

"By letting herself get beat up and tied by a species she obviously thinks she's more high and mighty to?"

"Yeah," Tatsumi sighed, and laid on the futon at the floor of my room.

Yes, we sleep together in my room even if there is a guest room.

What?

NO! We do NOT DO anything explicit. That's just... weird. I guess.

The room went silent. That's always a que for us to sleep. So I got up and switched off the light.

"Goodnight Tatsumi" I yawn.

"Hngh,"

**####**

**Another chapter completed. ITS TIME FOOOORRRRR /drumroll/ THE APPEARENCE OF...wait i forgot her name...ah right. KUNIEDA AOI! **

**SHOWDOWN!**

**I'm out. Tee hee~ **

**Dragonette: Edited since SilverNeira said my grammar was bad. Sorry bruh i was in a rush before. Thanks for telling me anyway! AND IM SO SORRY FOR PROCRASTINATING SINCE LAST YEAR IM SO SORRY SO SO SO SO SO SO SOOOOO SORRY I LOVE YOU GUYS OKAY /ehem/ Next chapter will be out in another two weeks or less hun buns. Or faster, if you're lucky that im not procrastinating. **

**Im out bruchachos. **


	8. G, Glasses, Officer

The heat.

The heat is annoying.

And I just got out of my front door! I mean, come on it's the WEEKEND I'm supposed to sleep in and watch a marathon of The Walking Dead! And eat junk food!

Shivers went down my spine. I looked to my left and right, up and behind me. Nothing. I swear someone was sending bad vibes to me when I thought of eating junk food...

Wait.

I thought of it. I didn't—

"Yuu..."

"WHAT!"

"You're thinking out loud."

Well fuck.

"Tatsuuuumiiiiii~ Where are we gooiinnggg" I changed the topic because Tatsumi was giving me weird looks (and damn he looks like his soul just got ripped out... Wait. He doesn't have a soul) Beel was latched on my back, probably sleeping.

Why is Beel on my back?

Well a certain demonic asshole decided that I should take care of Beel today.

"We're going to the park. Meeting Furuichi there." Tatsumi replied.

Oh.

"PARK?! BU–BUT TATSUMI! IT'S SUMMER AND THE HEAT—"

"Is bearable. Deal with it."

And we walked. My house isn't too far from the park anyway.

"Um Tatsumi..."

"Huh?" He turned his head to me and looked me in the eye...

And I slapped him.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR WOMAN?!" He grabbed his cheek in pain.

"You still remember my dad don't you?"

"YES I DO AND WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH SLAPPING ME?!"

"Oh, that was for fun. Serious doesn't suit you Tatsumi~" I cackled. Ah, I need to excercise... (as in kick some ass)

**####**

Silence.

Lambs.

Silence of the Lambs.

Awww yiss Hannibal Lecter!

Uh... That just popped out.

"I... did it again huh..?" Tatsumi broke the silence. Of the lambs. Okay I'm just joking.

"Yeah... You did it..." Furuichi answered the question that was hanging in the air like a pirate in the gallows. Beel just drank his milk (on my lap) (how can a baby drink his milk with his pacifier on?) and my head went back and forth between Tatsumi and Furuichi.

"I guess it really is impossible to seriously stop fighting?"

...

"You do know that the word 'Fight' is in your blood stream right? Like, an ass load of them." I said.

"Sorry..." Furuichi apologised.

Silence. Of th— okay I'll cut it out it's not even funny anymore.

"Don't apologize... The first one to get the shit kicked outta them loses the right to—"

"Sorry."

And now I'm just playing with Beel. Not really.

"Didn't I... JUST SAY NOT TO APOLOGIZE?!" Tatsumi burst out.

"HAA?!"

I'll just let them bicker like an old married couple..."I'm gonna buy a drink guys.." Not even looking back to see if they listened or not, I made my way to the vending machine. (obviously not, because their arguments are always long and stupid and meaningless... not always though) And got this unsettling feeling that someone is following me...

Probably a dog.

"Hn.. Green tea... or juice.." I mumbled to myself.

...And dodged.

A knife was sticking to the vending machine glass where my head was. I quickly spun around only to get caged (hugged, to be exact) by two arms against another body which is much taller then me. I was struggling and yelling "BITCH GET OFF ME I AINT NO TEDDY BEAR!" (and other shit) and I stop struggling to take a good looooong look at the bastard who hugged me. Oh, look! White hair!

Wait...

...White...hair...?

"Guiliano...?"

"It's a pleasure to meet you again principessa" He grinned, showing his white teeth. (if possible he wanted to release all of his phermones to me but I am immune to his charms... already.)

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU BASTARD OF A MAN?!"

"Well~" He twirled his long white hair on a finger and smiled seductively "I missed your fiery temper principessa~"

I facepalmed. This guy is... like 22 years old?

Meet Guiliano, or as I call him, G. He is my father's right hand man, he has white hair, a handsome bastard, ladies man, great fighter, fusses over me a whole damn lot and apparently sticks to me worse than super glue. And Tatsumi hasn't met him yet. I really hope Tatsumi will never meet this guy. I don't want him to get the wrong idea..."Did you put the letter at the foot of my fucking bed when I was fucking sleeping?!" I whispered to him frantically.

"Who else can do that Yuu-chan~"

"I knew it was you! What the fuck are you doing in Japan?! You're supposed to help out my old man in Italia! And let go if me you sticky son of a bitch!"

"He sent me here. And he's still capable of killing off vermin and maggots there. Quite the energy he has for his age..." He tighten his arms around me and his face came closer to mine, "Sticky is a suggestive word my lady... Are you sure you want me to let go...?"

"YES LET ME THE FUCK GO!"

He chuckled and released me from his prison. I huffed, annoyed by his very presence. Yeah, he's charming and all but imagine living under the same roof as... uh... A handsome bastard who has pretty and jealous girls all over him? Yeah. That.

A fucking nightmare, I tell ya. Seriously. Every girlfriend he had, questions me about who the fuck am I to G, (because all of them saw how G speaks and acts to me *cough*clingy as fuck*cough*) threatening me and shit. And some of the even attacked me!

"What are you doing here exactly, G? You could've called. What hotel are you staying at? Please don't tell me that fancy ass hotel you always stayed at. The receptionist is a fucking whore! Oh and also please tell me that you didn't bring any one of your girlfriends. They're annoying as fuck." I ranted. G just chuckled (yes, the overrated 'handsome deep chuckle' as women would describe. ew). "No, I didn't bring any one of my girlfriends, because i know you're annoyed by them Yuu-chan. Yes I'm staying at the hotel that your father and I always stayed at. I'm here to prepare for your father's arrival, of course." He finished with a smile. My ears perked at the mention of my old man's arrival. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and shook his brains out (he let me, of course)

"WHEN!? WHEN IS MY OLD MAN GONNA BE HERE?! TELL ME G!" shaking him extra hard, I asked him the same thing again "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNN IS HE COMING HEEERRRRREEEEEE?!"

"Unfortunately, Yuu-chan, as much as I love you, i'm afraid i cannot tell you when. He is my boss after all~" He sang happily, closing in the space between our faces. "Unless, you offer me..."

"WHAT? OFFER YOU WHAT!?" He smiled deviously. "Yourself, of course. Nothing more I want then yourself, Principessa~"

"Forget it. What are you, a demon?" His eyes flickered. "I'm not gonna offer myself to you G, you know that" I sighed and looked at him. He still has his devious smile. And I stared at him.

"Well, that's the use asking isn't it, Yuu-chan? And I miss that nickname~" He smiled. I shivered. This man is clingy and scary at the same time.

**"MOOOOOVVVEEEEE!" **

Eh? That voice? Strangely sounds like Tatsumi's...

"Yuu-chan? What's wrong?" Guiliano asked, his face concerned.

"That sounds like Tatsumi's voice..." I mumbled. Then I looked at G's face seriously.

"Everything about your face is wrong, G."

"Yuu-chan! So mean!"

"Gotta run! See ya later woman!" I waved at him. What? He looks like a woman with long hair and his refined face okay!

...Where am I? I think I got lost... There's so many trees...

WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!

**####**

**/13 minutes later/**

LUCIFER! That was annoying! How the fuck did i get lost in the fucking park?! Ah, There he is!

"OI TATSUMI!" I called, turning a few heads including his and the girl who sat next to him. I grinned. "Yo, Yuu," he replied.

"Where's Furuichi?" He shrugged. "What a friend you are, not knowing where our dear, poor friend went. For all we know, he might be getting mauled by mountain bears!" Dramatically throwing my hands in the air. Beel clapped, and made noises. I picked him up. The girl watched with astonishment.

Eh? Was Beel glaring at her before this?

"Officer! It's this way, this way!" a voice spoke far enough to be heard at our distance. "Hurry, hurry!" the voice urged. People were getting nearer. "It's okay Aoi-chan!" a woman pushing a baby trolley thing. The officer was dragged by another woman, who was carrying a baby and wasn't listening to him saying wait. Another woman carrying another baby pointed at Tatsumi, "It's him! He's the child abuser! And he's a rapist too!"

I looked at Tatsumi and he looked at me. "You've made yourself a reputation today, Honey" I chuckled in amusement. "Since when are you a child abuser and a rapist?" Grinning, I stood beside him, leaning on the bench with Beel in my arms. "Shut up, Yuu" He groaned. I laughed as the officer approached us, who was eyeing Glasses (the girl sitting beside Tatsumi ) and the looked at us, turning his back on us. This officer... Looks so annoying. like a fly, you know? Then he looked at Tatsumi, his face twisted to intimidate.

"Hey, you. Did you really abuse that kid?" That man asked.

"Ah?" You can guess who that was.

"Just by looking, he's obviously not wearing any clothes,"

"What's that? Don't screw with me old man, rather, I'm the one getting abused" Tatsumi said, chilling on the bench as if the person infront of him wasn't an officer. The officer looked at me "Girl, did he abuse you too?"

I looked him straight in the eyeballs. "Neh, He's good to me." And smirked. "And good in bed too" The Officer looked shocked (well, with those mothers and Glasses as well) at my bold statement. Tatsumi, being the dense fucker he is, didn't understand the indirect statement i made and just sat quietly. The Officer looked at Tatsumi and had a staring contest.

"Trash, I'll start by teaching you the proper way to talk" Said the officer. I choked down my laughter. IS HE MAKING A JOKE CAUSE THAT IS REALLY FUNNY- "Anyway, I'll have you come down the station with me."

"Eh?" I tilted my head. Is this how the police here work these days? Just taking in what those mothers said without thinking logically? I face palmed. This is the most stupid officer i have dealt with in my WHOLE life.

"Huah?" Tatsumi was confused. Glasses protested, siding with Tatsumi.

"Oi, oi, What are you siding with him?" Officer said. "Aah, I see. That's how it is huh? I guess you're the same as him," Glasses eyes went wide. "What a buzz kill. And here I thought you were a smart girl," What the fuck is this bastard talking about? He babbled more, while I looked at the trees, behind the bench.

White hair. On the branch of one of the trees.

You have gOT TO BE KIDDING ME G! I turned my head back to Tatsumi, hoping he didn't look back in the trees. Instead, I saw him ready to kick some ass. I grinned, moving to the right spot, behind the officer and in good kicking range.

"-The future of our country looks bleak" He said then Tatsumi kicked his balls, literally. He winced, and bended, and I took the advantage to break his nose. Using my knee. A sickening crunch was heard and blood dripped on the pavement. Officer held his nose, and pointed at the both of us and said something. "Tatsumi, can you shut him up? I'm getting a headache" I faked holding my head while Tatsumi replied "As you wish" Officer shouted gibberish when Tatsumi lifted him up, "Trash goes in the trashcans" Remember that kids. Never litter. Care for the enviroment! And Tatsumi threw him in the trashcan with a deafening crash.

Silence.

Of the Lambs. OKAY I'LL STOP, I'LL STOP! DON'T BEAT ME UP IN YOUR HEAD!

The mothers watched us in horror. We looked at each other.

And we ran.

**####**

**/1 week later/**

"Damn.. I liked that tattoo..." I pouted, disappointed with the absence of Tatsumi's awesome bloody tattoo while said person was jumping and celebrating the missing expanded tattoo. He turned to me, "Yuu, You're fucking stupid! This way I won't be close to becoming a demon king!" I frowned. "But I liked that tattoo! It's one of a kind!"

"What are you arguing about?" Hilda interrupted our quarrel. "Fufu... As you can see..." Tatsumi showed her his expanded tattoo free arm. "The awesome tattoo is missing! His arm is clean! WHY VALAR, WHYYYY" I collapsed on the bed, face planted on the mattress. "What did you do to the spell, after it finally expanded!" Hilda was shocked. "He stayed home the whole week, playing games while I went to school and waste energy chasing away annoying flies that keeps buzzing around me. Furuichi can't even do anythiiiiing" I groaned turning my head sideways and looking at Hilda. "Please destroy the thing that made the tattoo disappear Hilda, I'm getting lonely in school all by myself..." Hilda immediately destroyed the PS3 with the disc inside. I grinned widely. "You goddamn NEET" Hilda said, irritated.

"NOOOO MY WEEK OF HARDWORK!" Tatsumi pointed at Hilda "Dammit, don't screw with me! Give them back! My Mildrath! My Deathtamoor! Orgodemir! Give them back!" Then he turned to me. In a blink of an eye he was on top of me and was shaking my brain back and forth. "Yuu, you fucking traitor! Give me all my demon lords back!"

"Tatsumi stooOOp I neEd my BraIN in oNE piECe noT ScrambLEd" I grabbed his shoulders to stop him (unsuccessfully). I need my brain damnit!

"If you want demon lords, then raise one yourself" Hilda said nonchalantly.

"You know about it? Dragon quest?" Tatsumi sputtered.

"Stop blubbering. I've bought a toy much more fun than that." Hilda put down the boxes that she bought in with her (i just noticed?) "Toy?" Tatsumi and I said simultaniously. "Both of you can play together with the young master. It's a toy from hell." She proceeded to open the boxes. "I had to return home, pick up the boxes. But it took a little time."

"She went back to hell?" Tatsumi turned his head to me. "How the fuck do I know, I'm not the one living with her!" Hilda pulled out a paperbook, which turned out to be a manual. "Hm. It appears that some assembly is required. She looked at us. "Hey. Help." OH HELL NO.

"Gotta run Tatsumi. Arrivederci~" I picked up my bag that was on the floor and dashed to the front door (not forgetting to say bye to his mother. Manners, kids)

As I walked out the house entrance, Tatsumi called out to me. He was at his window, giving me his middle finger. I laughed.

Such romantic.

**####**

_**aaaaaand thats a wrap! she finally met aoi, unofficially. i dont think this is interesting enough... **_

_**OH WELL! if you guys wanna say anything feel free to do so okay. **_

_**im out**_


	9. Queen, Texting, Weird Tatsumi

"Queen?" Tatsumi and I echoed Furuichi's statement. We were walking to school, Beel was at his Usual place (Tatsumi's back) and I was between the boys. "There are actually girls in this school? I thought all of 'em are extinct?" I said, refusing to believe it. Not that I enjoy the attention the whole school gave me (I've become quite famous, it seems), Hell, I would cry if I could! Maybe it would sound something like this:

REJOICE! SHIRANUI YUU IS NOT THE ONLY FEMALE IN SCHOOL! BRING ME THE CONFETTIES, GET ME THE BOOZE, HOT GUYS AND WEED! LET'S CELEBRATE TONIGHT AT MY HOUSE BITCHES!

Meh. Just fucking around. I hate crowds enough to not throw a party. Not to mention that my old man might get the gist of it. Courtesy of G, that sticky sonnova bitch, of course. He visited me every single night, even when I'm at Tatsumi's and went home late, BAM! He's sitting on the couch, eating my food supply. Asshole.

"Yeah, there's a rumor going around that the queen of Ishiyama is coming home, It seems that she's a total knockout babe!" Furuichi explained, his face morphed into like one of those 'looks' that fanboys had when I was in middle school... I shivered. "Creepichi, please stop, you're living up to your nickname and making me believe it every minute, you lil fucker." He ignored me and continued "They say that she took all of our school's girls on some kind of expedition," He grinned. Tatsumi had this look on his face... "Queen, huh?" Oh hell no. He's considering making the girl Beel's parent?! (no, I am_ NOT_ JEALOUS) "You've gotta be kidding me Tatsumi! Again?!" My eyes were wide and I looked at Beel. "But he's so cute..." I pouted. Tatsumi sighed. "Yuu," He turned to me and grabbed both of my shoulders, "Your definition of cute doesn't count,"

...

"Fuck you Tatsumi. Fuck you."

**####**

"I want green tea Tatsumi, gimme the green tea,"

"Buy it your goddamn self Yuu, I'm going broke because of you,"

"EXCUSE ME?! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE WHO SAYS THAT, YOU SON OF A BITCH! WHO THE FUCK ATE ALL MY FOOD SUPPLY LAST NIGHT?!"

"...Fine. But you're gonna have to buy me a new PS3."

"Oi, isn't that a bit too much?"

"Do you want the tea or not?"

"Fine, you bastard," I gave up. There's too much money in the bank anyway. (courtesy of my dad, sending me too much money) Last night Tatsumi hung out at my house, since I have an xbox and he could play all he wanted. He didn't, however, met G (who was disappointed the food's all gone) who came to my house just after Tatsumi left.

That was a close, fucking call.

"Hey guys! Let's go meet the queen!" Furuichi was literally bouncing up and down like an eager puppy (wtf?). All three of us (yes, including Beel) looked at him blankly.

"Huh?" Tatsumi was just about to insert the coin for his drink while I sipped my drink and watched as Furuichi eyed two girls walking at the hallway. I rolled my eyes. Whatever, green tea is gooooooood~

"Don't you 'huh' me!" Furuichi's head turned back to us. Tatsumi was confused as fuck, I was just going with the flow. I wanna see who's the queen, anyway. Is she as majestic as Furuichi described? Is she as awesome as Queen Victoria in the Kuroshitsuji manga (damn I like her glasses/ goggles)? I doubt that. NO ONE can defeat the pure awesomeness and coolness that Queen Victoria produces! LONG LIVE QUEEN VICTORIA!

"Anyway, like I said, let's go see the Queen!" Furuichi repeated it once again, making me think that this queen must be really hot if Furuichi is acting like this... My phone buzzed. Furuichi's babbling about some shit about girls in Ishiyama. I sighed. Why oh why do I have a friend like this? I flipped the phone open and opened the text.

_Sender: G_

_Your silver-haired friend is annoying Yuu-chan, tell him to get laid._

_xoxo, ur lover _

I chuckled. Furuichi? Get laid? That's a joke in two words!

Wait. How does G knows that Furuichi is being annoying right now? I whipped my head and looked around frantically. No way...Right?

_Send To: G_

_Funny, G. You're stalking me now? YOU need to get laid, G, or is it not getting up anymore?_

_pls get laid, a concerned citizen._

"OW OW DON'T PULL MY HAIR!" Eh? Don't tell me that Furuichi is doing some kinky stuff to Tatsumi. "Uh guys? Are you guys doing some rated stuff in the middle of the school hallway?" Both heads turned to me, confused expression on their faces. I grinned, "So... Who's on top?"

...

...

...

"EW THAT'S DISGUSTING, YUU!" Furuichi shouted, his face twisted in disgust. "I'M FREAKING STRAIGHT OKAY!" Meanwhile, Tatsumi .exe. is still processing. "Oh, It's just a possibility. Who knows?" I smirked. "What about you and Oga? Who's on top then?" Furuichi shot back, mischievous smile plastered on his face.

"...Let's go see the queen" Talk about avoiding the question smoothly. Great job, Yuu.

"OH YEAH! LET'S GO!" So it did work. My phone buzzed again. Tatsumi was walking beside me while Furuichi was speed walking in front of us.

_Sender: G_

_I worry about you, Yuu-chan! You're my precious~ Oh, and it's quite fine, Yuu-chan, perhaps, you want to check it when I visit you later tonight?_

_xoxo, ur lover who needs to get laid by u _

I shivered. Now do you get what 'sticky son of a bitch' means in my dictionary? "Who's that, Yuu?" Tatsumi's head appeared beside mine, eyes scanning the text that G sent me. I quickly shut the phone and smiled. "Eh, just a friend," He frowned. "But it says down there 'your lover'," He said drily. "Ah, he's just messing around.." Shit! How do I get out of this?! "So it's a guy?" Tatsumi raised his eyebrow, his brown eyes boring into my grey ones. Mentally, I face palmed.

GOOD JOB ON SLIPPING THE GENDER OUT, YUU!

"Yeah.. haha..." STOP INTERROGATING ME TATSUMI!

His frown got deeper and his face got serious "Is he harassing you?" My eyes went wide. "What?! No! He's harmless, I assure you!" I waved my hand in the air like it's no big deal. Tatsumi was still doubting me. He opened his mouth to say something, but instead, he was dragged by an excited Furuichi who had, apparently found the 'queen' and was shouting her nickname in the hallway.

Fuckin' hell. That was weird... Is it me or is he going all mama-bear on me? Before this, he didn't really gave a shit about me on small matters like these because he knows I can handle it myself..

This is totally weird.

"Oga Tatsumi! Prepare yourself! Your evil pursuits ends here!" A familiar voice sounded down the hallway. I caught up to both of those dumbasses, stopping when a familiar looking female was pointing a wooden sword at Tatsumi. She was wearing a long ass white coat, with just bandages covering her chest.

What.

The.

Actual.

Fuck.

So this is the _queen_? This _scantily clad_ girl is the_ queen_ of _Ishiyama_? _What is this bullshit_? I mean, yeah, you've got matching white pants to go with you coat, but for the love of Lucifer, for fuck's sake, _cover the fuck up!_

The 'queen' was wearing a baffled expression on her face. Wait a minute. This girl.. Those eyes...

GLASSES?! FROM THE PARK?! I KNEW IT! SHE WAS A DELINQUENT AFTER ALL! HAH! ...But unfortunately Tatsumi won't recognize her.

"You're Oga Tatsumi?" she asked, wooden sword still pointed at his face. "Yeah, what of it?" Tatsumi nonchalantly answered with a question back, Beel was resting majestically on his head. Her eyes landed on me, probably wondering if I still remember her. I answered the silent question with a devilish smirk. She glared. The fuck? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GLARING AT ME, GIRL?!

"OGA, YUU!" the silver haired boy yelled, turning both of Tatsumi's and my head to him.

"What?" We answered simultaneously. "Amazing... Those girls in the back too, they're on such a high level..." Creep-ichi on the move, people. Then he looked at me, "It's okay Yuu, I'm still your number 1 fan," I cringed.

"Can I go home now?" Tatsumi asked. "Yeah, Furuichi. Let's go home. I'm tired already~" I said, leaning on Tatsumi.

"Idio- What are you saying?! The queen herself is talking to us isn't she?!" I swear to god that Furuichi is positively fanboy-ing right now. "No, all she's doing right now is picking a fight with me, right?" Tatsumi stated. Snickers and taunting whispers were heard immediately as the 'queen' stood there, considering.

"HA!" She swung her wooden sword to the side, slicing through the window like a knife through butter. I whistled. Damn. That's a good move! The hallway went silent. Jaws dropped (Not mine or Tatsumi's, obviously).

"Put the baby down," She commanded, "You won't be able to fight me all out with it right?" I chuckled. As if Beel's a hindrance. Beel made some noises, expressing his interest in the girl. "Fine. C'mon. I'll fight you with him riding" Tatsumi beckoned her. "Oga?" Furuichi called, confused with the situation. "Let him be, Eroichi~, This better be good, Tatsumi" I smirked, leaning against the class windows in the hallway, folding my arms on my chest. "So you're just trash, after all," The girl said, obviously irritated by Tatsumi. "You feel like using this baby as a shield? That or-" She lunged forward, too fast for untrained eyes to see, "-perhaps-" then she was in front of Tatsumi, stabbing him clean, right through his uniform "-you're underestimating me?" I raised my eyebrows. Of course he dodged. "You're gonna need a new school uniform, Tatsumi..." I murmured, loud enough for him to hear. "You're buying," He answered coolly.

"**Shingetsuryuu Battoujutsu Nishiki**." She murmured. Her eyes changed, she swung her sword in a pattern. And she did it, fast. The aftermath of the attack was, the only one injured was the opposite wall from where I'm chillin', Tatsumi was unscathed. "Scaary... Are you Hilda?"

I rolled my eyes. "Tatsumi, don't be an idiot. Hilda has waaaaay bigger boobs then her and she's a blond bombshell."

"But can you see that?! The wall is destroyed!"

"Yeah.. Gotta say I'm impressed-" I looked at her straight in the eyes "-Queen" I smirked. Her eyes narrowed.

"Oh? So you're interested, Beel?" Tatsumi looked at Beel, who was perched on his head. "Alright, alright-" Tatsumi walked forward towards the girl, who stood there, shocked. "-I sure am glad yer a woman," Before she got to attack him again, Tatsumi grabbed both of her shoulders, tension hanging heavy in the air. She looked at Tatsumi with a peculiar expression on her face, her cheeks tinted red.

Eh?

Is she blushing?

IS SHE FUCKING BLUSHING?!

"Please...become this kid's mother," Tatsumi said. Which can easily be mistaken as a confession-

FUCKING HELL HER WHOLE FACE IS RED NOW! SHE IS MISTAKING THAT AS A CONFESSION!

TATSUMI, YOU FUCKTARD!

My phone buzzed. I ignored the ruckus that ensued, and proceeded to open the text.

_Sender: G_

_Why are you ignoring me, love :'(_

_xoxo, sad lover_

I rolled my eyes

_Send to: G_

_Don't drop by my house tonight. Go get yourself a lady and get laid. And no, stay outta my pants, ya bastard._

#_gofucksomeoneelseG, sincerely, concerned human._

I clicked send and slipped back the phone in the pocket of my jeans.

What?

Oh, my jeans?

They're black, and I'm feeling like wearing jeans today, ya'know?

The 'queen' ended up running away, the hallway cleared and Tatsumi was in front of me, watching all the previous action I did and he looked as if he wanted to snatch the phone out of my hands and stomp it on the floor "Is it the guy again?" He said nonchalantly, urging me to walk. I turned my head to him, and saw his frown.

Huh. He is worried. That's out of his character.

I shrugged.

"Neh, just the stupid carrier ads. Let's bounce,"

_**####**_

_**i wonder where did the sentence "let's bounce" came from. IT SOUNDS SO OLD SCHOOL! Anyway, (i kinda forgot to apologize for the late update before this,) so i'm so sorry for the late update before this. I was lazy and life was catching up to me. i do hope that i could update regularly now tho. Thank you for the reviews! and for the guest hippo, i'll be sure to fix the italy mistake when i'm not lazy, one fine day...**_

_**AND just to clear things up, this has nothing to do with khr, (tho you guys make me WANT to make it has something to do with khr. Goddamn imagine adult! reborn is in this...). I'm just getting ideas and inspiration from the mafia stuff so yes, i took a bit dope from khr and other mixed up tv shows and random things that just popped up in my head. if you guys are confused, then ask me okay?**_

_**(oh, and Bloody-Asphode11 ... your idea of making gokudera into Yuu's father is very, very, veeery Su Pa Du Pa tempting... I wonder if i should...?)**_

_**OKAY IM OUT**_


	10. Boombox, Fights, Showdown(s)

"YOU TRAITOORR!" Furuichi shouted at Tatsumi as he threw the boom box at his head.

Wait.

Where the fuck did he get that shit? "The fuck are you doing?! That hurt!" Tatsumi nursed his head. "Aww there, there, poor boy, let me kiss the boo boo to make it better~" I cooed.

"YUU STOP IT HE DOESN'T DESERVE THAT!" Furuichi grabbed the back of my shirt in vain.

"THE FUCK YUU?! STOP HITTING IT!" Tatsumi said as he tried to avoid my hits of love.

What? He needs it.

...No I'm not torturing him because of the Nerd-gone-Delinquent girl. Totally not. I mean, just imagine Tatsumi hitting on a girl.

...Oh my god I am mentally scarred.

"AND YOU, OGA! YOU STILL HAVE YUU AND EVEN HILDA WHO'S LIVING IN YOUR HOUSE AND YOU'RE STILL TRYING TO GET YOUR HANDS ON OTHER WOMEN?!" Furuichi raged/sobbed while still grabbing on the back of my shirt. I twisted around so Furuichi was sobbing on the front of my shirt, patting his silver hair. "There, there, Ero-ichi. Let it all out" I didn't notice that Tatsumi wore an irritated expression on his face because I was too busy pulling Furuichi away from me (He started to get clingy...)

"Oi, oi! Stop wiping your snot on me ya bastard!"

"Alas, you've finally decided to show mercy to me Yu-" Before he got to finish his sentence, Tatsumi kicked him away from me. "Thanks Tatsumi. He was getting kinda clingy" I brushed off the invincible dirt from my jeans. "He's getting clingy even though we only did it once..." I turned my head to Tatsumi and saw his face "...Oya... What's with the annoyed face..?" He sighed. "It's not like that, Ero-ichi" Furuichi was suddenly by my side, recovered from his sobbing state. "You saw it, right? That Kunieda girl's terrifying strength?" Tatsumi grinned. "If it's her, Baby Beel will definitely get attached to her"

Furuichi and I blinked.

"If that happens, I can finally say farewell to this way of life..." He continued on ranting. "Fufufu.." And he's laughing...and shouting some thing about forcing Beel onto the Kunieda girl... And my phone keeps vibrating...

"You're shameless" Furuichi and I chorused. Beel began to whine. "Eh? Hungry already Beel? OI TATSUMI QUIT YOUR LAUGHING RIGHT NOW!"

**####**

"I never knew you carry around his milk, Yuu" Furuichi said, eyeing me as I fed Beel who was sitting on my lap, suspiciously with a blush on his face. I twitched. "Oi... Ero-Ichi... You're not thinking what I think you're thinking... Right?" I shivered. Well, Hilda reminded me of Beel's milk this morning when I stopped by Tatsumi's house, saying about how many times does he have to forget the milk or something... That guy went to school just like that.

"Hn. So you do feed the young master on time." Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Or in this case, she. The three of us jumped in surprise (i almost dropped the fucking bottle, that bitch) "When can you make a normal entrance for once..." Furuichi said. I listened as Tatsumi told Hilda about Kuneida while I fed Beel.

"Tatsumi, stop being delusional and feed Beeeeel! I thought it's your turn to-" Beel's bottle exploded, splatting the milk on my school shirt and jeans, startling Beel. I froze.

"Ki ki, I found Ogabride.." An annoying voice said. "Sitting around this kinda place like one big, happy family.." My eyes locked on a short guy with four other hoodlums that, honestly, looked like fucktards. "Is just being too unprepared, Oga"

Murmurs were heard from the school building. I didn't hear any shit coming out from his mouth because that little fuck just made my_ jeans_ wet. (AND I LIKE THIS JEANS DAMN IT! Hilda smirked, that bitch!)

With a_ motherfucking milk from hell._

And it _smells like shit._

So, being the sensible person I was, I moved Beel from my lap and placed him on the place I was sitting at, (He's starting to tear up, better hurry!) And ran straight to the fucking pussy-looking bastard who shot Beel's bottle. ( wtf is he gonna be, an emo delinquent?) (and why the fuck is there a heart tattoo there? sharpie-made, perhaps?)

"You fuckers-" I murmured. I could hear Tatsumi being zapped by Beel in the back.

"-soaKED MY ATTIRE-" By this time, he group was confused.

"-WITH BEEL'S-" I delivered a kick to the pussy looking guy with a heart tattoo on his face (must be tiring to get up every morning and draw a heart on the cheekbone, pfft) straight to his cheek.

"-MOTHERFUCKING-" Then I kicked the bald guy on his stomach, grabbing his back and kneed him in his balls. (I heard quite a few whimpers too)

"-MILK!" I punched the glasses guy on his jaw (KNOCKDOWN!) and turned to the huge guy. He tried to land a hit on me but I dodged, going behind him and kicked behind his knees (ah, classic).

"And for the finishing touch.."I murmured, walking to the front and kicked his chest and stepped on his balls so he won't be moving for a while. I crouched down and placed my other foot on his torso, balancing myself. He whimpered. "Hm? What did you say~?" I heard a battle cry on my right me and I quickly rolled to the left, stumbling said attacker. Who was, (surprise, surprise!) the heart tattoo guy. I grinned devilishly and kicked his side. "Ne, so you're left handed?" He nodded fearfully as I looked at him, smiling sadistically and sat down on his back, grabbed his left arm...

And broke it. A sickening crack echoed throughout the area and 'oohs' and 'ouch' was now his arm is at a new angle. The opposite where it was supposed to bend. (If your bones need a new angle, call me. I'll give you a discount)

I smiled at the Heart tattooed guy (who screamed like there was no tomorrow) and chirped "That'll teach ya not to mess with Beel's milk time~" I stood up, smoothing over my skirt and looked over to Tatsumi. "You done already Tatsumi?" (curiously, the non stop vibrating stopped. ya know what I mean? "Eh" He turned to my work of art (*cough*heart tattoo guy) and looked at me, deadpanned. "Seriously Yuu? You have time for that?"

"Well, you got the others... So why not?" I grinned widely.

"Both of you are still in sync with each other, huh..." Furuichi said blankly.

The audience gawked. (since when do we have an audience?)

"Ah, it seems like I have no need to step in at all" Hilda mused.

**####**

"Well then-" Tatsumi rolled his arm "-let's go see the prospective parent. This time it'll definitely work!"

"Stuuuuupid. What do you even plan on doing?" I rolled my eyes and checked my phone.

Multiple text messages from the white haired bastard. Ah, I'm too lazy to go through them one by one... Hilda, who was walking quietly behind me sneaked a look at the texts. And she raised an eyebrow. I turned to her with a this-guy-won't-leave-me-alone look.

She immediately understood.

Is it me, or did I felt for a moment, the tiniest hope of a bond forming?

"Yuu's right. Sure, Kuneida's strong, but she's not evil at all" Well, he got that right. "You don't think that baby Beel is just going to get attached to her on his own didn't you?" Since i was walking beside Tatsumi, I could see his face.

Lemme tell ya, he was thinking the exact same thing that Furuichi just said. Man this guy is fucking dense. "Yep. He's thinking it alright" I snickered as Tatsumi shot me a glare. "Furuichi, Yuu..." I raised an eyebrow "Men are fighting spirit"

I sighed at the statement and facepalmed. I marched forward as Tatsumi laid out some points (stupid, idiotic, and dumb ones. Oh wait. They're all the same thing. Silly me) and just let my feet carry me anywhere. I noticed Hilda was gone, so why not just walk around?

"Yuu-chan~" I twitched and kept walking. Where am I now anyway? Oh. School halls. Empty for god-knows-what reason. I got the sensation that someone is gonna hug me from behind so i ducked down and rolled to the side. When I looked to the person responsible, I groaned.

Guess who?

Lemme give you a hint. White hair.

Bingo! It's that bastard G!

"Fuck me" I groaned, head hitting the dirty floor. "I would be glad to, Yuu-chan~" G was crouching and his face was way too close for comfort, grinning like a cheshire cat. I rolled my eyes, got up and kept walking.

I'm just too lazy to retort okay!

"Why didn't you text me back Yuu-chan~" He whined as he walked beside me. My eye twitched. "That's because you're too goddamn clingy! You sent like, one text every minute!" He pouted. "I bet your girlfriends rubbed off on you" I muttered, getting out of the school hallway and roamed aimlessly around school. The whole time, G was either chatting about my dad, one of his girlfriends and smoothly executing flirting moves. That is, until we saw Kunieda and Hilda.

A showdown's about to begin! "Ay, G. You bought any snacks?" I nudged him, eyes still on both female. We sat on the ground, not too near the battle site but clear enough to see. The whole battle, G and I ate chips and drank coke like we were watching a movie. I still don't know how he got it though. I mean, he pulled it out of thin air like some kinda magician!

"I gotta say... Kunieda is fast" I observed as I drank coke. G was unusually silent throughout the whole fight. "G?" The sound of two pairs of footsteps running caught my attention. That was, after the awesome explosion occured. I mean, that shit is sick! It's like a super mini nuclear bomb just exploded! (I gotta ask Hilda to teach me that move one day) The shocked look on Kunieda's face told me that it was the end of the show. She ran off to the direction the girls came from and glared at me when she saw me. Hilda glanced at both of us.

"Ssup Hilda" I waved, getting up from the ground and dusting off my jeans. "That was a sweet sho—"

She disappeared. Then reappeared in front of me.

And attacked me.

My eyes widened, barely dodging her mini nuclear attack. The dust cleared, and G was at the place I was previously at, blocking Hilda's attack with one hand holding a tonfa while puffing smoke.

Holy shit?

"Sorry, _Signorina_, but that's my _principessa_ you're attacking" He blew a puff of smoke on Hilda's face. Her eyes moved to me. "Hn. You're a weakling if you're protected" She retracted her sword and seathed it. "I have no business with weaklings" I froze. My blood boiled. "You're calling me weak?" Hilda eyed me. "Yes"

"Fine. You wanna fight?" I stood in front of her, feeling kinda pissed. And grinned.

"Come at me bruh"

**####**

_**THE LAST LINE REMINDED ME OF CHANNING TATUM AHAHHAHAHAHA okay ahahahaha that was random so thank you for your reviews ( i jumped everytime i read your reviews and probably had a fit for a while) and i love you guys. seriously. even if i update super late. and the sandwich i made is like really salty. and do you love fried chicken? promise i will update as soon as i can. AND IM SO SORRY THIS CHAPTER SUCKS IM Sosorry**_

_**okay im out. **_


	11. Cockblock, Dad, Annoying Girl

"I'll give you a handicap" Hilda said, smirking at me. My eye twitched. "Um, no I prefer no handicap, Miss Big Titties. Come as you are" I said, annoyed at the fact that she even _considered _giving me a handicap. She disappeared and reappeared, swinging her umbrella at me and I dodged. (SHE SWUNG THAT THING SO FUCKING FAST SHE COULD MAKE IT TO THE BASEBALL CLUB!) Rolling and standing up, I tried to give her a good kick to her face but she dodged. (fucking demons) (yes i wanted to damage her face) I frowned. I may be good at hand to hand combat, but facing Hilda with just my body as a weapon is suicidal. I mean, that bitch has a sword sheathed in her umbrella for fuck's sake! (plus, she's a demon) Whyyyyy did I forget my precious in Italy?! I groaned, dodging every move Hilda threw at me (ah, she's smiling)

"Yuu-chan!"

"G I'M KINDA-" dodge "-BUSY HERE!"

"Catch!"

"Wha-" I caught his both his tonfas in the nick of time. He smirked "Not much but you'll pull through~" I grinned widely, dodging another attack by yours truly. "THANKS G!" Hilda was watching the exchange curiously, back to standing still, waiting for me to attack. I ran at her, fast enough to catch her off guard, and swung a silver tonfa at her head (yes, concussion sounds so tempting), which, she avoided (fuck you Hilda) and counterattacked. I managed to block it by the other tonfa, dropping down to sweep her legs off the ground hoping to make her fall. She jumped (irritating yet very exciting. no, I'm not turned on. Who the fuck you you think I am? Hisoka? The hot magician-clown dude from HunterxHunter?), and swung her umbrella at my head. I dodged to the right, seeing an opening, I swung the tonfa at her torso while she was in mid-air, catching her off guard and throwing her to the side. She tumbled on the ground, immediately rolling and crouching. Hilda raised her head to look at me. Her eyes were filled with satisfaction. "Hm. I didn't hit you hard, didn't I?" I asked. "I mean, You're not coughing blood. So I didn't hit you as hard as I should be..." My body was tense, waiting for Hilda to make her next move. "I didn't think that you could land a hit on me" She stood up- "It seems like I have underestimated you, Shiranui" -And dusted off her dress. "I have found out what I needed to see"

Then she just walked off.

"That's it?! Am I the only one who's fired up about this fight?!" My shoulders slumped. "So this was a one sided fight all along?" I muttered to myself. The adrenaline was still pumping in my blood, heart beating furiously.

...

...

"HILDA YOU FUCKING COCKBLOCKER!" I screamed at the now missing goth woman. I turned to G, eyes big and watery. "I... I feel crushed, G..." The white haired man quickly walked to me and gave me a hug and patted my head. "There, there, Yuu-chan"

I feel like I'm forgetting something...

Ah. Right.

"G? Why did you visit me today at school?" G smirked "Just here to say that you have a surprise later, principessa~" His eyes glinted with mischief. I shivered.

Not good.

**####**

"Where the fuck are you guys?" I asked Furuichi, tone irritated. Who wouldn't? I've been walking the entire time! "We're at the rooftop. Oga's about to fight the Queen. Hurry if you don't wanna miss it" He hung up. I looked at the phone weirdly, and looked at G. "Okay I'm going to the rooftop. See ya later G" G bowed and waved at me as i ran towards the rooftop.

...

I dialled Furuichi's number. "Dude, which rooftop was it?"

**####**

/23 minutes later/

I kicked the door to the rooftop, making a grand entrance.

Silent.

"What? No grand welcoming?" I grinned and waved at Tatsumi. "Did I miss anything?" I said, confused as to why are all the people on the rooftop are staring at me. "Um... Is there something on my face?"

"We're going home. That woman is unable to become a parent" Hilda nonchalantly said, taking Beel from Tatsumi's back, (Da!) I walked towards Tatsumi, noticing blood on his face. I automatically took out my handkerchief and wiped the blood off his forehead. Years of being with this idiot made me develop this habit.

"Oi! Don't do it so roughly!" Tatsumi winced.

"Shaddap. You're squealing like a girl. The blood is half-dry already" I took out my water bottle from my bag and wet the handkerchief. Then i wiped his blood trails with it. "Aaand done! So you're going to my house or yours?"

The whole time I interacted with Tatsumi, one girl was pissed (*cough*Kunieda*cough*) and the other was just raising her eyebrows. Hilda just smirked at Kunieda, who was eyeing my closeness to Tatsumi. She then turned around and walked. "Aren't you embarassed..." Kunieda looked at Hilda "forcing your child onto other people?" I looked at Tatsumi with the what-the-fuck-just-happened look. "He leaned on me and whispered about telling me later.

Hilda turned her head and looked at Kunieda straight in her eye. "Hmph. If you got a problem, then work on your skill and come again" Hilda smirked "Even Shiranui is better than you"

Ouch. That gotta hurt her pride. Tatsumi looked so confused, that I couldn't help but giggle. "So, my house?" I asked Tatsumi as we walked away from the scene. "Yeah. Yours"

But I feel like I'm forgetting something again?

**####**

"So a tranny...?" I trailed off, reaching for my house keys.

"Yeah. A tranny" Tatsumi confirmed.

"I never knew there was a tranny in our scho—" I froze midsentence.

"hm? Yuu?" Furuichi poked my arm that was frozen halfway from inserting the key into the keyhole. Tatsumi raised his eyebrows "Something wrong?"

I broke out in a cold sweat. "Um

guys... Haha... How about we go to your house Furuichi?" I laughed nervously.

Why?

Because in the corner of my eye, I could see a man in a black tuxedo behind a tree in the garden.

That can only mean one thing.

Tatsumi rolled his eyes. Furuichi complained "Eeehh? We're already here why not just—"

The door burst open and the next thing I know I was glomped by a blur of white. "Yuu-chaaaaan~ Welcome home~" G hugged me tightly. My eyes were wide, and I struggled, not noticing Tatsumi's super irritated/annoyed look at the skin contact. "Uh, G, get off get off!" Frantically I tried to shove him away from me.

"Oi" Tatsumi's eyes were covered by shadows. He grabbed one of G's arm and snatched it away from hugging my body (although the other was still around my waist, fuck this guy and his fast reflexes and strongness!) "Who the fuck are you?! Let her go, you bastard!" G raised his eyebrow and smirked, pulling me so that my back was against his front, facing Tatsumi, taunting him by closing the distance between his face and my cheek "What if I don't wanna?"

"Eh? Um. Guys? Haha. G. Let me go now. Boys. Be nice please" i begged. I fucking swear I could feel some sparks of electricity between Tatsumi and G.

"Guys..." Still silent.

OKAY THAT'S IT. Since my arms are free, I hit both male on the head.

Hard.

"WHAT THE FUCK YUU?!"

"Oh, dear. Did I anger you Yuu-chan~?"

"Firstly, G, Let me the fuck go or I will bust your nuts" He immediately let me go. "Secondly, what the fuck are you doing just standing there like some kinda statue Baka-ichi?! CAN'T YOU SEE I NEEDED HELP?!"

"Well, you look like you could manage..." He muttered.

"What's the ruckus out here?" A deep baritone voice that's familiar to my ears asked. I froze, Turning around to face the voice as fast as lightning to see a man, who looks like he's in his late twenties with shaggy platinum blond hair, grinning at me.

"D-Dad?" I looked at him up and down.

"Fucking genetics" I mumbled. That old doesnt even look his age! And he's 41 damn it! That doesn't make sense!

"Maa! Tatsumi! Long time no see!" Dad greeted enthusiastically, patting his back while Tatsumi greeted him back. "And you too, Takayuki!" Furuichi stumbled when my dad patted his back.

"Now why don't you three young teenagers go inside the house, hmm?"

The three of us froze and sweat bullets at the sight of his gleaming eyes that promised '_thou shalt experience pain' _if we didn't obey.

So we did.

**####**

"The boss gave you a vacation?" My eyes bulged "He was willing to give you, _his right hand man, a vacation?!" _Dad sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "Well, when you say it like that, you make it sound as if my boss and I were having a forbidden affair, Yuu.."

I sweated buckets. "S-So... Dad.. Haha... How long are you gonna be here..?" He immediately did a 180 personality change and smiled menacingly at me "As long as I wish, my dear, sweet daughter..." I gulped, turning to Tatsumi and shaking him "Tatsumi, let's go run away far, far away from here! Let's go to Las Vegas and marry at a cheap chapel and escape this madness!" i frantically shook his again, this time far more aggressive.

Tatsumi sweated nervously "Uh.. Yuu... Me and Furuichi..." Furuichi looked as if he was gonna piss his pants and continued Tatsumi's sentence "We gotta go! I mean I don't want to get in the way of your reunion.." Furuichi stuttered.

My eyes widen. As they got up and said farewell, and disappeared quicker than Houdini.

"TRAITORS!" I mourned my fate, which was in the hands of my dear beloved father, who was smiling sadistically.

"Well then Yuu, I hope you revised your studies..." He trailed off, his subordinates preparing some dynamites and handed him a machine gun. Then I finally noticed that the living room was already set up with... _various _equipments.

I whimpered.

**####**

That night, the neighbours knew better to not disturb the sounds of explosion and machine guns firing, the screaming of the girl (screaming profanity, of course) they knew since she was a cute, little, brutal child echoed throughout the neighbourhood.

"WRONG!" A baritone voice yelled, another explosion occured accompanied by the curses that could make a sailor bow down to her. Good thing their house was a bit further then theirs, they mused.

Yes, this was just a normal night.

**####**

The next day, Tatsumi was already waiting for me with Furuichi at my front door. Tatsumi immediately glared at Guiliano, who was fussing around with my injuries. (seriously, what the fuck is wrong with Tatsumi?)

And boy, did I get a handful of injuries.

No, It's not abuse, It's not even deep, the cuts and burns were not serious. Both of my buddies winced as they saw my bandaged self. "Traitors.." I mumbled. Tatsumi gave me a once over and spun me around, deeming me not fatally injured.

Dad? Fatally injuring me?

Pfft, he'd kill himself before he could do that.

The walk to school was normal, with me teasing and bickering with both of the idiots, that was, until we heard voices behind us.

I almost got a heart attack as Kunieda Aoi, the leader of the Pink Pales (that sounds wrong?) walked next to us, wearing the school uniform, looking at Tatsumi and _blushing_. She said something but I didn't pay attention because she was totally head over heels with Tatsumi.

I was irritated.

And I don't know why.

Fucking annoying.

**#### **

**_whoa! the fighting scene between hilda and yuu was... I gotta say, i kinda suck at fighting scenes. I did my best to describe it tho. If swinging my arms around like a psycho could indicate that. Anyway. thank you for the reviews, oh my im feeling so shy~ and im thinking of doing another story..._**

**_Maybe later. _**

**_OH AND anyone wants to suggest me Yuu's weapon? _**

**_im out. _**


	12. Spartan, Irritated, WTF?

Summer Vacation.

When I say that, you would think about beaches, pools, girls in swimsuits, hot girls in swimsuits, boys in swimming trunks, hot boys in swimming trunks, hot boys with six packs in swimming trunks, hot boys with six packs in swimming trunks that just got out if the pool or sea with water droplets on their hot bodies and you just want to rip off their swimming trunks and just touch the delicious abs and the southern beyond—

Uh...

I mean...

You get the point.

Ah, summer. the best season to see naked torsos and also the worst season because of the motherfuckin heat. Which is why I'm walking around the neighbourhood with a fan in hand. Hand fan.

...Whatever. Named my hand fan Dante. Nice huh?

A distant (and fast approaching) "Yuu!" was accompanied by a smack on my head (I was too lazy to block it).

"GODDAMNIT TATSUMI! STOP KILLING MY BRAIN CELLS YOU FUCKTARD!" As per fuckin usual, Tatsumi ignored my precious complaint, and walked beside me (I didn't miss the chance to whack his head with Dante) (Ah, what a beautiful sound). I scowled. But hearing Beel making cute noises towards me is kinda making it hard for me to maintain the scowl. I sighed. "The fuck do you want?" His face lit up, pain from the fury of the Dante forgotten, and looked at me "Let's go to the public pool."

He sure looks happy to go to a crowded public pool. I don't have anything to do today, anyway (fingers crossed so that i can see hot guys and secretly stare at those glistening abs...) Wait. Tatsumi has abs too.

...So.. A chance to see Tatsumi shirtless? "Uhhhh sur—"

"Yuu-chan could not follow you to the public pool, Oga-san. Maybe next time" A familiar voice interrupted and white hair entered our view. Tatsumi tensed, and for some reason gave him the evil eye. Which, G responded with a knowing smirk...?

"Aw c'mon G! It's summer and the heat is slowly driving me crazy!" I whined, brushing off the obviously weird exchange between them ( I actually feel left out ) and Dante speeding up in hand. G grinned brilliantly (STOP IT! TOO BRIGHT! GOING BLIND!) "Your father has a surprise for you, _principessa,_" I raised my eyebrows at his formality. Could it be...

"Maybe next time Tatsumi," I patted said persons' shoulder, which visibly slumped when I said that. "Looks like my babies are home. See you later alligator," Walking away, I couldn't help the guilt from spreading in me. "Damn it" I muttered. Turning my back towards Tatsumi ( who was walking away dejectedly ) I hollered " I'LL CALL YOU AFTER THIS BUSINESS IS OVER, FUCKTARD. DON'T KILL YOURSELF TILL THEN" He raised his right arm in response.

Classic Tatsumi strikes again!

**####**

"So... Why are we in the middle of the forest? And when the fuck did we get here anyway?" G just smiled, guiding me towards Lucifer-knows-what. We approached a clearing, with suspiciously a lot of men in suits. And sitting in the middle of them all...

"Uh dad? Mind explaining?" I walked towards him (he has some bags and suitcase...?) "What's the event?" I prodded. He stood up and smiled. My eyes narrowed.

Dad took out a cigarette and lit it up. "Go on. Open them." he motioned towards the bags and suitcases. I shrugged, squatting down and opened the first leather luggage bag. I froze. Slowly, I took out the nunchucks. My eyes widened, mouth gaped open. "How did you get them in here?" I looked at the other bags and suitcases. "Did you bring them all?" Dad smiled, and nodded. "I also modified one of the rooms in the house, so you could arrange your weapons without having to worry about it being found." (ah, so that's the fuss about the past few days...)

I took out my tonfas. And blinked. "Did you modify my babies?" The platinum blonde man nodded. "Gotta make them fun for my girl" he chuckled. Putting back the nunchucks and tonfas in the bag, I caught a glimpse of my twin sai. Hurriedly I opened the briefcase. Inside, in their carved glory...

Zeus and Hades.

"...I love you dad"

He chuckled heartily. "However grateful I am that my daughter proclaimed her love towards me," he looked at me with an evil glint in his eyes "You need to shape up, Yuu,"

Oh, fucking hell. This is worse than Satan ass fucking me.

**####**

I grimace as I barely dodged another kick from daddy dearest (that kick could crack a rib— or _ribs._ Trust me I've had a taste of it). It hasn't been more then an hour and I'm already out of breath, covered with dirt and bruises (a bit of blood too). I would totally pick anal over this one-sided spar.

Damn it, I got rusty.

Dad sighed. "And here I thought sending you to a delinquent populated school could make you _not_ get rusty," He stood still, not making an effort to attack. He released another sigh. "That's it for today, Yuu"

FINALLY! I collapsed on the dirt, immediately regretting it. Why, you ask? Because G. Fussing. Annoying.

Looks like I'm gonna be bandaged up, huh. Fucking hell I haven't been beaten up this bad since... before I went back here. Oh. Months ago. Not that long...

Fuck it, I'm still fucking tired anyway.

Apparently thinking about bandages made me think about that Kunieda brat. I growled. That chick has a pole so far up her ass, man. And what's the deal with her blushing around Tatsumi anyway?!

AND WHY THE FUCK DO I FEEL SO PISSED OFF BY THAT FLAT CHESTED BRAT?!

"UghcanIgohomenow" I mumbled to Dad, arm covering my eyes from the sun. He chuckled, squatting down to pat my (now greasy and wet with sweat and oil. Ew) head. "Sure princess, want me to carry you?" I peeked at the platinum blonde man, and smirked.

"Yes please,"

Dad squatted down, indicating a piggyback ride. I pushed myself up to get on his back (barely) and took a quick nap (with G cooing at how cute I am when napping/sleeping, and my failed attempts at smacking his head. He's got Dante too).

We arrived home to find Tatsumi (and Beel,) waiting at the front door. Dad grinned (Something tells me that he is grinning). "What a great surprise to see you here Tatsumi! Here for my daughter?" I blankly watched Tatsumi, his eyes boring on mine, which drifted to my side where the white haired bastard stood. He momentarily glared, (I still don't get it..?) And answered Dad's question. "Sort of, jii-san..." he scratched his head. "Can I spend the night here?"

The once peaceful chatter filled atmosphere turned deathly quiet. Hm? I wonder why? I turned around to see the men in black suits...pale as fuck? What? I leaned towards G (who had an amused look on his face?) "Why are they so quiet?" I whispered. G smirked, seemingly having an idea (For what, we'll never know...) and leaned closer to me, almost intimately, "There's a case about one of the boys who got laid with the boss's daughter, and before the boss even got his hands on that guy, your father mentally scarred him first. Bad," G tucked a stray hair behind my ear while I stared at him, the corner of my lips quirked up. "Why am I not surprised?" Dad grinned triumphantly, having listened to our hushed exchange (G grinned too, for unknown reasons?) and finally answered Tatsumi. "Yeah, sure Tatsumi. Why not? I haven't seen you in a while, so it's nice to have my girls' buddy sleepover once in a while" Dad answered nonchalantly (his men was so surprised by his cool response that almost half of them tripped on thin air. The other half of them had a look of confusion). He unlocked the door and swung it wide open. "Come on in, boy—make yourself at home," I got off Dad's back and turned to Tatsumi, intent on teasing him.

"So... can't wait for just a day huh? Miss me that bad?" He scowled and pointed to Beel (who was affirming the question with a hearty 'Dabu!') I laughed. "I'm just gonna take a bath, You go ahead and set your futon," Tatsumi grunted an agreement. I frowned. "Tatsumi? You okay there, buddy?" He proceeded to ignore me and walked to my room.

...The fuck?

**####**

I scowled at the brunette teen, who was playing Dragon Age on my xbox. Beel was sleeping peacefully on my bed. I just got out of the bath, and went in my room asking him a simple 'whaddya doin?' while drying my hair, and all I get is silence.

That's right. Silence. Nada. Zilch communication.

He's ignoring me.

In _my fucking room. _

While playing with _my fucking game. _

"The fuck is up with you, you on your period or something?"

"..."

"Oi."

"..."

"Fucktard."

"..."

"Baldy."

"..."

"Don't ignore me!"

"..."

"That's it." I muttered.

I threw the towel somewhere on the floor and proceeded to snatch the joystick from him, pausing the game and stared at him (more like down on him, I was standing after all). He clicked his tongue in disapproval and made a move to take the joystick from me, which I evaded skilfully. "Now tell me why the fuck are you acting like a prissy bitch for, asshole, or you ain't gonna play this shit," He raised his eyebrows in the oh-really-whaddya-gonna-do-then fashion.

And I attempted to stuff the joystick in my shirt, between my boobs. Hey, I may not have ginormous boobs like Hilda, but they sure are bigger than that prissy Aoi. Ugh. Off topic. Then again, keyword : Attempted. Because Tatsumi apparently had an idea of what I was gonna do, so he grabbed my wrist and pulled me down, immediately flipping me on my back so he could hover over me. "You're acting like a bitch on her period!" I hissed. "That's your fault," he stated, his brown eyes staring into mine. I sputtered. "Mine?! I didn't even do a thing and you're getting all bitchy at _me_?!" His hands firmly held mine down, when I attempted to smack the daylights out of him. The joystick lay forgotten on the floor.

"You and the white haired guy." He stated in an it's-obvious tone.

"_What?"_

"You have something going on with the white haired guy. He was all touchy with you."

I blinked. What?

"You looked like you had something going on, and I'm your closest friend, so I would appreciate it if you told me you had—" at this point, he spit out the words " a _boyfriend."_

I blinked. "G? Boyfriend?"

He glared at me.

"I—what—he—boyfr—NO"

He blinked. "Eh?"

"HE ISN'T MY BOYFRIEND YOU FUCKIN ASS! Fuck I'm getting the hives" I shivered, and glared at Tatsumi "He is _not_ my boyfriend. What the fuck makes you think that man-woman is _my boyfriend_?!" I hissed out, emotions a mix of confusion. Then it clicked.

"Wait. You're pissed because you thought I'm in a relationship and I didn't tell you?"

"..." Tatsumi blinked. "Ah, yea. Kinda,"

"YOU IDIOT!" I sighed. "And here I thought I stepped on your dick or something..." Tatsumi went back to normal (stupid face). "But you guys talked so intimately, I thought you had something going on with him," I rolled my eyes. "He's that clingy. Besides, I'm immune to his charms now," He raised his eyebrow and pinned me with a deadpanned look. Then his face turned red on top of me.

Why are his cheeks red? Wao, I can see his face up close. Ooooh, his skin is kinda clear for a guy, huh...

Eh?

Wait how—

_On top of me. _

_He's on top of me. _Holding down my hands and he's —

Gosh, my face feels so hot haha. Jeez, summer is such a pain. Haha. I never knew summer could make my face hotter than the oven...

Haha.

"Uh Tatsumi—"

"Hm?" He leaned his face closer to mine.

"A-ah haha um I think we sh-should um get up," I laughed nervously, diverting my eyeballs sideways so I couldn't see how _manly _he looked, how _nice _he smelled...

My heart is about to burst. Why is it—why do I feel this way? I just took an innocent bath... And I didn't even run on the way to my room?

"_You were gone for almost a year _," he whispered. "_And you didn't even tell me why,"_

My chest constricted, guilt spreading from it. So close, I looked him in the eye—_I couldn't look away_, he was so _fucking close—_

"YUU-CHAAAAAAAAN" G kicked the door open and his jaw dropped. Abruptly. His face morphed into horror (you know the painting that has the man holding both his cheeks? Whatever that painting is named. ((Call me when you know what painting it is)) Yeah. That). Tatsumi got off me, grabbed the joystick, and continued his game, a hint of pink still on his cheeks.

"MY YUU-CHAAAAAAN" He cried, dropping on his knees and moped, chanting something about 'innocence' and 'my poor baby Yuu-chan'. I stared at G, the scene still replaying in my mind.

...

I cupped my face in my hands.

What in the seven hells just happened?

**####**

**_Whoa, I was into the story so bad and ended up making Tatsumi a bit OOC? I guess? WELL ANYWAYS, a bit of uh, romance sparking ish between Yuu and Oga? Shh, I'm indulging you cutiepies (as a way of saying sorry I disappeared for a long time, I had a writers block)_**

**_But I think Oga is kinda okay in this chapter... I mean he is dumb everytime but he is kinda perceptive...in a way. Right? _**

**_Tell me what you think about this chapter, darlings~_**

**_im out. _**


End file.
